Children survive, a some point in life they’re gonna have to learn that life is rough anyway so just be honest, break this stupid family unit if it isnt a real and happy one.

My parents are still together in their 70s-they love each other, yes my dad drives my mum and us mad and yes I grew up with them having blazing rows are times and thought oh they’re on the rocks, by on the other hand I have grown up with the fairy tale marriage – my mum always saying that ‘it’s always been dad and she has a happy marriage’ and my dad always says he wishes he’d met my mum sooner-when they got together they said it was perfect and they still love being around each other and don’t live separate lives, I don’t think my dad has worked away from home once! In fact I can’t think of a time where he went away without one of us and the same with my mum. they laugh on Sunday mornings as they chat over breakfast in bed and I remember my mum saying that if the physical is there you can get over anything. I can seriously say I don’t think my dad or mum has ever cheated, now I know I can’t say that for sure on this article !- but I’m pretty good with seeing past bullshit, they’re both attractive, I’m sure they’ve had advances and maybe if they hasn’t found each other would have been interested in these people but I think they love each other so much and are such good honest people that they couldn’t do it to each other even if they were tempted. So, there you go, I am 41 trying to find what they have and falling short. I have had my chances to settle down with some lovely lovely men (not the cheating type) that would bring me security and hoist me up that social ladder so I would never have to worry about my social self esteem and money etc… etc… but I just wasn’t feeling it-I wanted to feel it. I might not ever ‘feel it’ but I can’t convince myself of something or pretend so I guess I’ll take a chance and grow old alone.

I got really depressed when I lived with a man for a few years who was lovely but I just didn’t have that feeling with and was hardly interest in the physical with him. Yes I tried really hard to do what everyone else did but it killed me. I just can’t see how anyone does it! Maybe I’m broken but the pain I feel now of being on my own is better than knowing I’m stringing someone lovely along and acting every day.

I’m now considering freezing my eggs or embrios and doing it alone-not sure if I can but hey.

Hugssss 😮‍💨

Wow. 💪

I wish I could talk to you privately. I feel this to my CORE.

Wow…so glad I came across this page. It was helpful to read everyones comments including the one who posted.
I am engaged to be married in a few months. I am 38 with 4 kids. My two oldest are from my HS Sweetheart (I was 15 & he was 17, our kids are 15 & 11 now) and we split after 11 years, never married. My two youngest are from my Fiancé. He’s 47 and has 3 other kids prior to meeting me. Two of them were from his previous marriage (Divorced in 2010). We’ve been together since 2015 and he surprised me with an engagement ring last year (2021).
Anyways, I find myself just going through the motions. I’ve always envisioned being married to a Man that I was so deeply in love with. Where we are best friends and love to enjoy things together in life. For the past 6.5 years, I felt like I was just settling and this is how relationships are when in your 30’s. Its like all the fun loving dovey things fade and are left in your twentys….My family loves him, as he’s respectful, hardworking and takes care of our household. Our kids are healthy, happy and stable. I am just not happy. There was infidelity on his part, a few years ago (2017), and we went to couples therapy for the infidelity as well as other issues. It took a long time for me to heal. He enjoyed therapy so much, saying that it changed me for the better, when in actuality I haven’t changed a thing. If anything therapy allowed him to be more honest with me. So I was gonna leave after that incident, but my Mother told me to think bout the kids and not make any quick moves. At this time, we had a Babygirl together. So I waited in hopes things would get better. This is when I realized that many marrigaes, like my parents and grandparents had problems and couples weren’t always perfect & happy but stayed together regardless. I told myself I’d make that same sacrifice for my children.
Things started getting better after 2019. We had another baby in 2020 (born 13 weeks early). She helped make us stronger as she was a little fighter herself. I thought everything was on the road to greatness when he proposed. But just recently I found out he may have been unfaithful again, after overhearing a conversation he was having with his friend. I can also sense vibes really good and his has been off. He also has been questioning me as if I’m doing something, when I know it’s his gulity conscience. I recently became a FT stay at home mom this year. Every summer his other 3 kids come to visit. So I’ve been busy taking care of home and all our kids. So there would be no reason for him to all of a sudden question me about who I’m texting and where I’ve been when I’m home with kids.
So my parents are spending over $40,000 for my wedding since it’s my first and I’m the only child. My Bachelorette Party is in a few weeks, I hear my Bridal Team went all out too. & here I am feeling untrue to myself and everyone. I’m always so blunt and honest about my thoughts and now i’m put in a situation where I don’t know what to do but cry in silence and smile in public. Everyone ask why im so calm and not getting all bridezilla. I just say stressing isnt going to solve anything. When in reality im just not excited. I really didnt want to get married, but my other half said he wants to make sure im taken care of. Then I suggested just for us to go to courthouse, but he had a courthouse wedding the first time and knows my family wouldnt want that either. So im stuck to act like all is perfect. I have no one to talk to right now, cause everyone is so excited and happy. I feel like I’m putting up a front to be happy and trying so hard to be in love as well as overlook his faults for the sake of our kids. But he makes it difficult. I haven’t even spoken to him about this new issue yet. Not even sure if I want to because, like the first time, he tried to lie, but I had proof last time. This time I don’t. I feel like I’m about to sign the rest of my life away to misery in trade for my kids success and well-being. Perhaps, marriage was never about being in love but just doing what is right for your family and kids so that the day we are no longer living, your legacies are taken care of.
I just always pictured being so in love and vice versa. I feel like I’m better off pretending then trying my chance at love again as an almost 40 year old with 4 kids (15 yr. boy, 11 yr. Girl, 6 yr. Girl, 2 yr. Girl). He says he loves me and that he asked me to be his Wife because he knows I’m the one and he would never hurt me again, and how he would never get married or be in another relationship again if we didnt work out. But I know he has this other personality, that he doesn’t show me or our family. He’s very flirty and almost comes off as insecure and always needing validation from women. So since I know this, one would call me crazy to even stay in this relationship, but I feel like my life is over and it’s all about my kids at this point.
In the meantime, I’m counting down til this wedding and having to pretend being Happy about my future marriage for the rest of our days. I just pray things will get better.

Don’t think you can wait till he loves you. It gets worse after marriage. Look at Princess Diana

Of course not. Why would you?