Comments on: Should Spouses Take Separate Vacations?

By: Kent

Kent — Wed, 14 Jun 2023 11:16:52 +0000

I’ve never understood the attraction of separate vacations. If you have a few dissimilar interests, enjoy those during the week or on an occasional weekend, but vacations are different. Find something you both can enjoy doing, together, during your vacation time. (Likewise, if at-home children were involved, I would never consider a vacation without them, either.) If you can’t find a vacation that you would both enjoy, I have to wonder what you have in common enough to have gotten married.

By: Nancy P.

Nancy P. — Fri, 18 Feb 2022 19:25:36 +0000

Marriage is not a “ball and chain” sentence.
Both parties should be secure enough to encourage the other to explore their dreams and desires with regards to vacations.

By: Nancy P.

Nancy P. — Fri, 18 Feb 2022 19:23:33 +0000

I went to Paris pre-Covid with my daughter who could only go for about 5 days.This meant that I was on my own for 4 days.rs.
This was totally liberating as I discovered more about myself, grew as a person spiritually, mentally and emotionally.
In the past, I would have only gone with my husband to whom I have been married for 34 years.I enjoy going to antique shops, going on tours…all which he just tolerates.
He is more of a strolling along the beach type of guy!!
So-o-o a separate vacation seemed to be a good solution for my needs to be met.

By: Catherine

Catherine — Sat, 12 Feb 2022 21:51:33 +0000

Wow. Everyone is so against time apart! I personally feel that spouses need to have separate interests, friends, and time.
A solid, healthy relationship allows for BOTH partners to have some freedom. Now, I read one person’s description of her husband leaving her behind while he goes on a skiing trip every year. And she doesn’t like it. I think that should be addressed. She wants to be included. My husband has more free time than I. So he visits friends and family. I think it’s great. I like my alone time and I’m happy to see him when He gets home. We also vacation together. We’re going to Costa Rica for 2 weeks! Yay.

By: rob

rob — Sat, 12 Jun 2021 06:56:58 +0000

My wife is an RN. She says going away with her friends is a good idea. They can bond and talk. At work they don’t have this leisure. So whats wrong with going out to dinner? I am against this! I love my wife, but don’t know what to do. This is an on going thing.

By: Tracy Dinsdale

Tracy Dinsdale — Wed, 08 Apr 2020 09:17:10 +0000

My husband goes away skiing every january…right after new year, for two weeks at a time. I’ve only ever been once and it wasnt that good for him because I had never skied and based on that one and only trip he now refuses to entertain the idea of me going along. This really hurts me as I really want to be a part of this part of his life..i want to learn so we can enjoy this experience together. He says to his mates that it’s the best two weeks of his year and obviously this hurts me deeply that the best two weeks of his year are spent with others. January just gone i found out after he had left that a woman was staying in the accommodation with him and two skiing friends. I was very unhappy about this and he just said that i was being stupid. I have since found out that he is planning a 20 day trip next year…he hasnt even told me yet. He knows that I am really sad and miserable when he leaves me behind with my son but he refuses to let me be a part of it full stop. What do others think about this? My friends dont have this in their marriages and have said they simply wouldn’t allow it. What can I do? Its making me feel unloved and that maybe we should part.

By: Diana Tighe

Diana Tighe — Tue, 07 Jan 2020 19:45:22 +0000

In reply to Sin More.

I have put off doing things that I have wanted or been invited to enjoy, missed out on taking time to see family just BECAUSE my husband is afraid to ask for time off or thinks he can’t take time off… I get 3 weeks vacation each year and every year I spend my days at home doing nothing! Why should I have to suffer or miss out on seeing my sister and nephews in Florida, for example, because he can’t take a week off for vacation? To me this really isn’t a vacation but a time to visit family and enjoy some Florida sunshine. I live in Illinois and winter sucks! I get really depressed and hate life during this time… To me, I think a loving husband would be supportive to this. I wouldn’t object if he wanted to visit some relatives. I feel like he has controlled my entire life since we got married 13 years ago. I’m so afraid to even ask to do anything without him because he throws such a fit… So, today I scheduled a round trip flight to Florida (staying a week) that cost me less than staying in a hotel for 3 days in Lexington, KY. When I asked or basically told him what I had in mind he went off in a rage! Telling me I better get a part time job to afford all these vacations. I work 40 hours a week and have a pretty good job but he makes more so I guess he things I’ll be taking his money… SERIOUSLY! One time I do what I want and get that crap! Reason #1, why I’m always afraid to confront him or ask for something, because of how he reacts. Well, I’m not giving in this time and letting him take control. I am my own person also and I work hard for my money and deserve to do something I enjoy instead of being a coward, afraid to upset my spouse!!

By: Paula

Paula — Wed, 20 Nov 2019 13:55:50 +0000

I have recently went through an emotional roller coaster and awakening in trying to find who I am. I’ve never been on my own. Went right from parents to roommate to grandparents to living with my now husband of 20 years. I have been contemplating taking a vacation alone. Not because I want to get away from my spouse or kids but simply because I want the time to reflect, unwind, and try and find some balance within myself. I’ve been through counseling for childhood trauma. Now I’m just trying to figure out what makes me happy for me. I love my husband and kids dearly. I just feel like I need to love myself just as much and taking some time away for myself will give me the opportunity to figure out how to do that.

By: Jerry D

Jerry D — Thu, 25 Jul 2019 05:18:54 +0000

Comments here are few and far between. Which is a pity because this is an important topic. And although I agree with Stef, it seems most correspondents don’t. Perhaps our circumstances are different. I am much older than my wife, and we have two small children. School holidays drive her mad at home, so a holiday is a great idea. And if she goes, then 10 days to 2 weeks makes sense. I run my own business so a week away is a long time, so she’s often away when I’m not, and I sometimes add a couple of relaxing days with boring old friends to a solo business trip. Also we both have family that bore the other. We are fortunately not overly concerned about the financial aspects – my wife takes a perverse pride in seeing how cheap she can be, although I can see how it could burden others less fortunate. All of this argues that some time away – not every holiday – can be beneficial.

But then we didn’t get married to be always together. There is no fusion of personalities, just two alpha types who adore our children.

By: Jim C

Jim C — Fri, 22 Mar 2019 03:16:10 +0000

I agree with Jay. We get married to share together. If someone needs time off, it goes to show that they should have opted for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship instead.
But a rare weekend apart can let couples enjoy some of their individual interests.
Here too, couples are to try to take on the other’s interests. Another interesting thought… happy couples, just naturally, without second thought, hang together.
If you have been wondering, “Why I am with him/her”, the automatic “I want to be with him/her” has been turned off…..
Time to turn the love light back on.