Am I happy in my marriage every second, um no.

Do I look at my husband daily and fell a flutter in my heart, no again.

Does it still make my blood pressure climb every week when I gather armfuls of dirty laundry from the floor next to his side of the bed, yes.

Do I love him with all my heart, enjoy spending time with him, miss him when he’s gone, and is he the first person I want to talk to when something wonderful or terrible happens?

Yes.

Here’s the deal. Marriage is messy, it’s work and just like life, it’s full of good times and bad.

Throw in one, two, three (or more) children and you have a whole lot more of the mess, work and joy and a lot less time.

This is where my marriage has started to slide and crack in the past. Looking back, I wonder why, why didn’t we give into the weariness that comes with this phase of life? What made us different?

I kept coming back to one thing, Date night.

My husband and I go on one date a month. It’s a time to focus on each other and remember why you like the person you’ve been living with. Not to mention, the work that goes into making a date night shows that you are willing to put some effort into your marriage.

Below are a few tips and tricks to help you “save the date”. Try them, I bet in a few months you’ll notice a positive difference in your marriage.

1. Save the Date

Sit down at the beginning of the month, pick your date night and write it on the calendar. No changing it, no moving it when something “better” comes up. It’s set in stone.

2. Make Your Plan

The same time you pick your date night, make your plan (time and place) and book your sitter. If you have a nursing baby you can’t leave behind, bring them along. It’s still a date when you only have 1 baby with you instead of 3 kids! Another trick with a nursing baby that won’t take a bottle, is find a friend who can watch them for two hours. You can feed the baby at their home leave and be back in time for the next feeding.

Doing this right away is important, it eliminates the “I thought you called the sitter” fight AND when you know someone is planning to come you’re less likely to cancel.

3. Get in the Mood

Half the reason I’m not motivated to go out on a date is all the prep that goes into it. Picking an outfit, taking a shower (shaving my legs) and fixing my hair and makeup while trying to keep kids out of my way can be overwhelming! Somewhere along the way, I came up with the genius idea of booking a sitter an hour earlier and/or telling my husband to keep the kids away for an hour. This turned getting ready into a fun pampering time for me and started our date off with me in the right mood.

4. No Texts, No Tech

When the date starts it’s time to put your phones on vibrate (with kids at home you can’t just turn them off) and leave it in your jacket or face down on the table. The only texts or calls we will answer are from our sitter. I love to take a pic of my husband and I on date night, but I resist the temptation to post it during our actual date…we all know when you pick up the phone it’s hard to put it down!

5. Talk

Some people have a no talking about the kids rule, not me. Of course we’re going to talk about our kids, it’s the number one thing we have in common lol! I’ve found we always start out the date talking about the kids and catching up and then naturally the conversation will move on to other things…and then back to the kids. It doesn’t matter what you’re talking about, as long as you’re talking.

That’s it, done, you have successfully saved the date, and maybe your marriage!

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I’m going to start by being honest, this mom gig is hard enough without putting pressure on yourself to lose weight. So, make sure you’re ready mentally and physically to start working to get the weight off…and don’t be too hard on yourself (this is where the grace comes in) if you need to skip an exercise session for a nap or shower.

1. Walk the Weight Off: This is how I lost the weight with my first baby. I simply put him in the stroller and walked. I never set distance or time, I just hit the road. Walking the weight off is free (other than a cost of a stroller and tennis shoes) and can be done in just about any kind of weather as long as your child is dressed appropriately. Make it a date with your husband, find a few mom friends to join you, or ask you mom or sister in law to come along.
2. Become a DVD Devotee: This might show my age a bit but, when I was trying to lose weight from baby two it was before the age of live streaming. I went out and bought Jillian Michaels’ DVD’s as well as a few Yoga workouts and forced myself to use them at least twice a week. Naptime worked best but, I found the kids could amuse themselves pretty easily for at least 20 minutes if not 30 if I remembered to feed them first. Now with YouTube it’s WAY easier (and free) to find a workout that will challenge you and keep you interested.
3. Form a Mama Bootcamp: This is one of my favorite ways to get fit. Find a few likeminded friends and meet at a park or someone’s house once a week. One group watches the kids while the others workout and then switch. Technically, all you need is two people to show up for this to work. Use a local park and do sprints and use benches and bleachers to up your game. In cooler weather meet at someone’s house and use some of those DVD’s!
4. Family Style Yoga: As my kids grew older and I had more of them I found that it was a bit harder to find time to fit in my beloved DVD’s and, if I’m being honest, there was more than one instance of a child being knocked over by my bum. My kids were always trying to copy my Yoga practice so I decided to stop trying to keep them away and just let them join in. I hit Pinterest to gather up poses and I formed my own routine and told them they could join BUT had to keep off my mat…and family style yoga was born!
5. Run Away: As part of my mama boot camp I began to get interested in running…and eventually it became one of my favorite things to do. This is one workout that DOES take some planning and commitment from your partner or other family members/friends. For me the best part of running is the time alone, away from the kids, away from all the must dos. So, take a look at your schedule and your budget (to pay a sitter) and get some time set aside for a run.
6. A Few Food Facts: It’s just a cold hard truth that it doesn’t matter how often you work out, if you aren’t eating healthfully, you won’t lose weight. There are a few things that I’ve found have helped me to keep weight falling off instead of staying on. Limit eating out and sugary drinks. Eat from a variety of food groups and be attentive to portion size. Remember, the palm of your hand is about the size of one serving. Lastly, if you want to eat the ice cream…eat the ice cream and enjoy the heck out of it. You can always do an extra DVD tomorrow ?

Trust me when I say you CAN lose weight without a gym membership, nanny or private chef! It will take a bit of motivation and at times, planning and support from your friends and family. Give yourself time and try and get moving three days a week and I just KNOW you’ll see that weight starting to come off!

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