Research from the National Alliance on Mental Illness shows that major life transitions, such as children leaving home, can trigger identity shifts similar to career or relationship changes. Yet few mothers feel prepared for this moment. After years of giving your time, love, and attention to others, it’s time to rediscover what makes you feel fulfilled and alive.

Here are four ways to begin finding yourself again and creating purpose, connection, and joy in this new season of life.

1. Make room for the pause. Before rushing to fill the silence, give yourself permission to pause. You’ve been in motion for years, and it’s natural to feel unsure when life slows down. Instead of labeling this time as empty, see it as a chance to rest and reset. Use the quiet to reconnect with your body and your thoughts. Take walks, journal, or enjoy a peaceful morning coffee. When you stop resisting the stillness, you will begin to hear what your heart has been trying to say.

2. Revisit the woman you were before becoming a mom. Long before carpools and college applications, you had dreams, passions, and interests that made you who you are. Ask yourself what used to bring you joy before life became so full. Start small. Take a class, try something creative, or reconnect with an old friend. The goal is not to relive the past, but to reawaken the parts of yourself that have been quietly waiting for attention.

3. Redefine purpose as something you create, not something you lose. For many years, your purpose was built around caring for others. But purpose is not a title, it is the energy and intention you bring to your days. Write down how you want to feel: peaceful, connected, inspired, and then think about what activities help you feel that way.This shift moves you from asking yourself what I should do now, to asking how I want to live now. That’s where your true sense of direction begins to take shape.
4. Expand your circle of connection. Loneliness is one of the most common challenges in the empty nest years, but it can also be an invitation to build new kinds of connection. Reach out to women who are going through the same transition. Join a class, attend an event, or volunteer doing something that matters to you. New friendships in midlife are not built around carpools or school calendars. They are built around honesty, curiosity, and shared growth. When you surround yourself with others who are also rediscovering themselves, it becomes easier to find your own way forward.

Finding yourself again is not about reinventing everything. It is about remembering who you have always been. When you give yourself permission to explore, to dream, and to grow, you begin to feel hopeful, calm, and whole again.

Allie Hill is a life coach, author, and speaker dedicated to helping women transform life transitions into opportunities for growth. She writes for women in midlife who quietly wonder if their best years are behind them. Her work inspires readers to see change not as loss but as an invitation to expand, reinvent, and step into their most authentic, joy-filled selves. For more information visit www.alliehillcoaching.com. Connect on Instagram @alliehillcoaching.

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Recognize that all of these feelings are valid. It can be overwhelming to acknowledge that your teen is struggling, let alone with a mental illness. As these feelings creep in, remember to prioritize your efforts on your teen’s health. Delaying treatment can only make recovery more challenging.

As a parent, you will play a vital role in your teen’s substance abuse treatment. Here are a few ways that you can best provide support.

Active Support

First and foremost, parents should be there throughout the treatment process. Active, engaged parents will acknowledge that their teen needs serious help, without passing judgment or blaming the teen directly for their actions. Remember, substance abuse is a complex medical condition rooted in mental illness. Even if you’re angry and disappointed, try to hold these emotions to yourself and instead concentrate your efforts on staying involved in your teen’s treatment journey.

This type of treatment will impact the entire family, including any siblings. Family therapy is often recommended to help everyone manage and deal with their emotions in their own way. These sessions can empower you to continue to have an open dialogue with your teen, creating an environment where they feel safe to talk to you about how they are coping.

Clear Boundaries

Just because you’re remaining active in your teen’s recovery doesn’t mean that they have the upper hand in decisions. You are still the adult, the parent who has control over your child’s actions. Setting clear boundaries is key to treatment success and can help prevent relapses.

Be firm with your set of rules, identifying the specific consequences your child will face if they break these rules. For instance, maybe you set the rule that you will drive them to and from the substance abuse rehab program. Under no circumstances can they drive alone unchaperoned by an adult.

Another rule you may consider is not lying to extended family members and friends about what is happening. Although you may feel shame, being open and honest with others can help reduce the stigma associated with substance abuse and mental illness. It can also be helpful to you in that friends and family members may reach out and offer their support, knowing what type of burden your immediate family is facing.

When setting boundaries, ensure that everyone in the household is aware of the rules and their subsequent consequences. Keep the list in a visible place, such as on the refrigerator door, as a constant reminder.

Education

As hard as it may be for you to recognize the situation your teen has found themselves in fully, the more you know, the better informed you’ll be. There is a lot of misinformation regarding teen substance abuse. From forcing treatment to stopping if they really wanted to, myths surrounding the disease can misshape your perceptions of what is currently happening. Educating yourself on substance abuse can provide you and your family with guidance to move forward.

Seek out reputable resources online — such as the National Institute of Health (NIH), Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), or Mayo Clinic — to learn more about the disease. Next, speak to your child’s care team about where else you can learn more to empower yourself. They will likely have a set of resources specifically for parents. Education about your teen’s situation can arm you with coping mechanisms, providing support for you so you can best support your child.

Self-Care

As you support your teen through this chapter in their life, it’s important not to give up on your own health and well-being. It’s normal for parents to be stressed, fatigued, and overwhelmed by the situation at hand. Once you know that your teen is on the right path to recovery, take a step back and take care of yourself. You can only be there for your child if you are well-rested and recharged.

This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to book a full day at the spa. It can be more beneficial to incorporate small moments of self-care into your routine. Perhaps that’s enjoying your first cup of coffee on the porch, doing a quick meditation to begin your day. Or maybe you have a standing walk with a friend every Friday morning. Whatever it is, setting aside time for yourself can be a highlight of your week in a heavy, darker period in your life.

Make sure that both you and your spouse or partner have equal opportunities for these self-care acts. Be overly communicative about what you need to show up best for yourself and your teen. Encourage your partner to take the same amount of time to refill their cup. Doing so will encourage both of you to properly recharge and focus on your teen’s recovery.

Takeaways

Just because you are the parent doesn’t mean that you need to figure out what’s best for your teen alone. Doing your own research and education can motivate you to seek treatment facilities and care teams for your child. Asking for help from family members and friends — while maybe daunting at first — can provide you with the support you need to continuously show up active and engaged for your teen. It’s a team effort, so know that help is out there and readily available for you and your family.

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Here are some of the most important factors that make these spaces safe:

Reliable Equipment

When choosing commercial playground equipment, it’s important to consider many elements of design and construction. One of the biggest risks with cutting costs on playgrounds is that inferior quality can lead to the quick breakdown of the materials. Plastic slides can buckle and crack, which can cause scrapes and bruises on kids as they slide down. Broken swings can lead to children falling mid-swing. And battered bolts can even cause entire platforms to collapse.

While you may think all it takes is a little bit of maintenance to keep even the most inferior materials in place, the reality is that breakdown can happen at any time. And a child can get injured before you even realize there’s a problem. Genuine safety comes from choosing high-quality, certified, durable equipment to create structures that won’t wear down quickly. You also want material that, when it does need to be repaired or replaced, is easy and cost-effective to fix.

Visibility

Virtually any parent who spends any time on playgrounds with their kids will tell you one of the most nerve-wracking issues in parks is visibility. Some playgrounds are designed with huge blind spots, so caregivers can’t see their children at all times. The only option then is to trust that the kids will be fine or to spend the entire time chasing their children around. That’s not restful or relaxing for parents who desperately need a break on a local bench.

Lack of visibility can have parents avoiding a playground entirely, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Playground designers and park planners can create open spaces, so parents can watch their kids play from afar. Even when you create quiet spaces or sections of different play spaces, the barrier walls can be low, so parents can still observe kids from a distance. This visibility allows parents to catch dangerous behaviors before they go too far or stop children from running off into the street or other hazardous areas.

Barriers

Speaking of hazardous areas, many of the loveliest parks are bordered by city streets, babbling brooks, and deep creek beds. These might be lovely in terms of accessibility and even splash play during certain times of the year. But at other points in time, cars racing by and rushing rivers can pose a real danger to small children. Kids can quickly fall into dangerous water or chase a ball into the street before their caregiver has a chance to respond.

One of the most powerful ways to keep kids safe on the playground is to place barriers around the edges of the park. These can come in the form of natural walls made from shrubbery and trees. Or you could install chain link fencing around a park in a particularly busy city as an extra safety measure. Openings at regular intervals allow for accessibility, and low shrubs or chain links allow for visibility. So you kill three birds with one stone.

Regular Maintenance

Of course, no park can remain safe forever without regular maintenance. Unattended parks can pose the greatest hazards to children because small issues can become worse over time. Cracks in slides can become chasms that cause serious injury. Broken swings get misused over time. And dirty, unrepaired surfaces can make a simple fall a major crash and burn. These parks in disrepair also happen to be the ones no one even wants to visit anymore.

For a playground to be truly safe, maintenance workers should visit the area regularly for upkeep, landscaping, and a review of the playground equipment. This would both keep the slides, swings, and platforms in working order and keep the park clean and thriving with plant life. Also, having regular maintenance people on site in parks performing routine upkeep can be a deterrent for people with ill intentions.

An Engaged Community

Finally, the primary safety measure you can take in any location, and especially a community park, is to keep the community engaged. Far too many people now feel as though they have to mind their own business, and worry that looking out for other people’s kids might be considered nosy. Of course, you don’t want to have a ton of people worrying over nothing. But people locked into their phone screens to the exclusion of what’s happening around them can create a dangerous environment.

You can encourage more community participation by placing benches and other seating around the park. Strategically placed canopies and covers can also help people relax on both the hottest and rainiest days. You could also post signs about community involvement that remind people just how much they contribute to neighborhood security merely by being present and paying attention. The more helpful eyes you can get on kids at play, the better.

In the end, parks and playgrounds can be some of the safest places for kids in the community to spend time. They can grow, develop, and mature under the watchful eyes of their neighbors. And parents can trust that kids won’t be harmed by equipment that is of the highest quality and well-maintained. It really does take a village to raise kids, and every person involved in local parks, from planners to visitors, is part of that village.

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In therapy, people often come to me because they are becoming aware of these patterns, but they feel frustrated. They see what is happening but feel they cannot change. This is where I talk about what I call closing the gap, or the process of moving from unconscious reaction toward conscious response.

Imagine standing on one side of a bridge. That is the side of your old pattern. On the other side is the person you want to become. You are aware, calm, and able to choose your response. In the beginning, that bridge doesn’t even exist. You simply react. But with awareness, step by step, the bridge begins to take shape beneath your feet and the gap begins to close.

Here are 6 steps to move you onto a new path.

Step 1: Awareness After the Fact.

At first, awareness only comes later. You get triggered, you react, and then, after it’s over, you realize: “Oh, that was my old pattern again.” This is the first step.

Step 2: Awareness During the Reaction.

With time, you begin to notice while it’s happening. You’re in the middle of the reaction and suddenly you see it. You can’t stop it yet, but you’re closer, the first planks of the bridge are being laid.

Step 3: Less Intense Reactions.

Eventually, you catch yourself earlier. You still react, but not as strongly. The awareness softens the intensity. It’s as though you’ve taken a few steps forward and the planks of the bridge you are building feel a little steadier.

Step 4: Pausing Mid-Reaction.

Next comes the ability to stop yourself mid-reaction. You might still feel triggered, but now you can pause, step away, and return later when you’re calmer; a chance to regain balance before crossing into familiar territory, just as you would pause on a shaky bridge before taking the next step.

Step 5: Not Reacting but Needing Space.

You feel triggered, but you don’t act on it. Still, you can’t yet calm yourself enough to respond right away. The bridge is strong enough to hold you, but not yet steady enough to cross calmly.  Instead, you choose to leave the situation and return later to respond consciously, with more clarity.

Step 6: Anticipating the Trigger.

Eventually, the bridge becomes so familiar that you see potential obstacles before you step on them. You soothe yourself early, preventing a reaction altogether, and cross smoothly to the other side.

This is the process of closing the gap. Moving from no awareness to awareness after the fact, to awareness in the moment, until eventually awareness comes so quickly and naturally that you are able to choose how you respond.

However, it is important to remember that crossing this bridge is not a one-time event. We don’t just move through the steps once and arrive permanently on the other side. Depending on stress, tiredness, or circumstance, we may find ourselves back in earlier steps.

This doesn’t mean we’ve failed or gone backwards. Each crossing reinforces the bridge. Over time, the earlier steps happen less often, and the later ones feel more natural. This is not just a process I teach in therapy. It is also the path I’ve had to walk in my own healing. I have walked and rebuilt this bridge many times myself, and I know how discouraging it can feel before the gap begins to close.

The key is compassion. When we stumble, we remember. We’re still practicing, still strengthening the path. With patience and kindness, the bridge becomes sturdy enough to carry us again and again, toward greater awareness.

After all, the point is not to never get triggered again, nor to be perfect in our responses. That may not be realistic. We are still human with our emotions moving in waves. The point is to live with more ease, to be less at the mercy of old patterns, and to bring more choice and freedom into our daily lives.

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Here are five ways to bring curiosity into your interactions with children, and why it matters.

1. Ask More Questions Than You Answer.

Curiosity keeps the flame of imagination alive. Instead of positioning ourselves as teachers or problem-solvers, we can enter the child’s world as explorers. Asking more questions than giving answers leaves space for their creativity and reasoning to grow. Children feel whether our curiosity is genuine or judgmental. When our intention is to listen and learn, they are more willing to share their thoughts and feelings. By asking open-ended questions rather than giving explanations, we nurture imagination, invite new perspectives, and allow children to flourish in their own unique way.

2. Embrace Openness in Responses

When a child answers, receive it with an open mind and heart, even if it seems simple, off topic, or surprising, because it carries meaning. What may sound irrelevant to us may be the child’s way of expressing what feels important in that moment. These are the moments to lean in with even greater curiosity, not less. Every response is a doorway into their inner world, and walking through it with curiosity strengthens trust. Appreciating their answers, rather than overlaying your own interpretation, reassures them that their voice matters, builds confidence, and encourages them to share more freely.

3. Celebrate Simplicity

Children often speak profound truths in the simplest language. Don’t expect long or elaborate answers. A short answer is not shallow. It is a clear window into their genuine experience. When we expect children to respond like adults, with detailed explanations, we risk shutting down their willingness to share. Curiosity doesn’t seek complexity. It seeks authenticity. Embracing their brevity allows us to see the depth behind their words and teaches us to value clarity over complexity.

4. Be Fully Present

Curiosity requires more than words. It calls for full presence. Tune into the child’s tone, gestures, and emotions. Symbolic play often carries meaning beyond the literal, especially for younger children. Rather than rushing to explain, allow yourself to experience the play as it unfolds. Presence opens the door to deeper understanding. When we are curious, we begin to see the world as they do, and we realize how their playful expressions make perfect sense within the context of their experience.

5. Become the Student

Let go of being the all-knowing adult. Enter the child’s world with humility, as if you are the student and they are the teacher. In this posture, you not only learn how they see the world, but also show them that their ideas and imagination matter. This is how children feel truly seen, heard, and loved. We, in turn, are reminded of the wisdom and creativity that children carry so naturally. Curiosity is not a one-way act of guidance; it is a dance between asking and receiving, speaking and being silent, knowing and discovering.

Curiosity is more than a strategy; it is a way of being with children. It helps us listen, observe, and participate without imposing. It strengthens connection, nourishes trust, and reminds children that their thoughts and feelings matter. When we share the gift of curiosity, whether in play, in stories, or in everyday life, we keep imagination alive and love flowing. Curiosity really is a superpower. It transforms not only our children, but ourselves.

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Recess is a key component of children’s overall health. It shapes who they are by fostering important physical, cognitive, and emotional development skills. Children learn about their bodies, understanding spatial awareness and knowing their own limits. They also meet and interact with peers on a different basis than they do while in a classroom setting. Kids learn the importance of sharing and collaborating so everyone can have fun.

Modern playgrounds are built to ensure that all children’s needs are met, nurturing a space for everyone to feel welcome and invited to play. Here are a few ways that modern play equipment supports health in elementary schools.

Physical Health Benefits

It goes without saying that there are numerous physical health benefits associated with time on the playground. Commercial playground equipment, such as swings and slides, fosters physical fitness. Children develop gross motor skills as they run from one structure to another, navigate through obstacle courses, and gain strength by jumping and climbing. These types of movements are essential to overall development, leading to stronger bones and muscles as well as improved cardiovascular health.

Additionally, children also pick up on fine motor skills during play. Digging a hole in the sandbox and making sandcastles requires fine motor skills, as does grasping rings on a climbing ladder or turning a knob on an interactive panel. Both gross and fine motor skills are needed for lifelong learning and well-being.

Core strength is another lifelong skill that is often first developed on the playground. Climbing to the top of a rope ladder requires children to focus on their deep core, engaging the abdominal muscles and strengthening the back muscles, too. They engage these same muscles on balance beams, while also testing their overall flexibility and balance.

Children today face a higher risk of being overweight or obese. Packaged foods, sugar-rich treats, and highly processed fast foods are tempting. Unfortunately, many of these foods are also less costly than nutrient-dense, wholesome options. This diet, along with increased screen time, keeps kids in a sedentary state, limiting their ability to burn off energy and excess calories. That’s why getting children out on the playground is so important to their overall health, as well as their mental and emotional health.

Mental and Emotional Health Benefits

Recess is a chance for elementary schoolers to reset their bodies and their minds. Having a mid-day break can be beneficial for enhancing attention, concentration, and memory. Just like adults, children need breaks throughout the day. Having the ability to sit still in a classroom and pay attention is challenging, which is why recess can be so good for little ones’ mental and emotional health.

Unstructured play time on the playground gives children the chance to run freely, play with others, and be creative. Some children may decide to come up with a magical pretend game, assigning roles to their classmates and acting out different scenarios. Others may challenge themselves by going on the bigger slide or tackling the daunting rope ladder. And some children may use the time to focus on themselves, turning to low-stimulation activities such as sandboxes or activity panels.

With each of these pursuits, children relieve stress and anxiety and take in the benefits of nature. No matter if the elementary school’s playground is near an enclosed parking lot or in the middle of a massive field, children reap the benefits of being outdoors. They’ll re-enter the classroom feeling energized and ready to take on the next part of their day. You may even see boosted cognitive function as children can fully focus on the tasks for the day, or problem-solve to find a solution to a math equation.

Social and Interpersonal Health Benefits

Lastly, modern playgrounds are also built to bring children together. On a playground, children are highly encouraged to communicate openly, invite others to play, and cooperate. They grasp the importance of teamwork, knowing that everyone must work together if they want to spin fast on the merry-go-round. They are also presented with real-world scenarios, learning how to negotiate through disagreements and work together to reach a common goal.

These types of social and interpersonal skills cannot be taught. Rather, they’re obtained over time. When a child recognizes that they can’t have the swing set for the full amount of recess time, they must learn to share with others. They develop a greater appreciation for the time they do have on the swings, while also being empathetic to other peers who want a turn as well.

Modern playgrounds are a place of connection for elementary-aged children to gather, play, and bond. Children from different classes may form friendships, which can last well beyond recess time. These lifelong connections are a direct outcome of the many health benefits that come with recess during the elementary school years.

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Are belly bands safe for pregnancy? This is one of the questions most expecting mothers have as their bodies transform and expand. Maternity support bands/belly bands are designed to provide mild compression and abdominal and lower back support, and help relieve pregnancy-related pain. Even though they can be incredibly helpful in alleviating back pain, assisting in the improvement of posture and allowing a mom to feel somewhat more stable, many moms-to-be will doubt their overall safety, not to mention the safety of the growing baby.

This guide will discuss the safety of belly bands, the way they function, and what you need to know before adding one to your pregnancy routine.

What Are Belly Bands and Why Are They Used During Pregnancy

A pregnancy belly band refers to a loose, stretchable garment that is worn to support the belly and lower back. Belly bands are easy to wear on a day-to-day basis as compared to structured maternity belts, which provide tight compression.

Moms-to-be use them to:

• Reduce tension in the back and abdomen.
• Improve posture
• Reduce common discomfort, like the round ligament or pelvic pressure.
• Be comfortable in day-to-day activities.
• Extend the use of pre-pregnancy pants.

General Safety of Belly Bands for Pregnant Women

When properly worn, belly bands do not pose much harm to most pregnant women. They are made using soft and stretchy materials and do not offer any invasive support or limit any movement. Many healthcare providers prescribe them as a way of alleviating back pain, pelvic pressure, and posture problems.

Some safety precautions that should be remembered:

• Don’t overuse – Wearing them daily could lead to muscle dependence.
• Pick the right fit – Snug, not tight, to prevent discomfort or lack of circulation.
• Pay attention to your body – Take it off in case you feel sore, itchy, or out of breath.
• Check with your doctor – Especially if you have a high-risk pregnancy or complications.

How Belly Bands Support the Back, Belly, and Pelvis

Belly bands are created to give soft, targeted support through the changes of pregnancy:

Back Support: Belly bands help in relieving the pressure on the spine and reduce common pregnancy backaches caused by slight compression around the lower back. This extra support helps to develop a better position and can ease the standing or walking.

Belly Support: The additional weight of the growing bump can make you feel heavy and can draw your body in front. A belly band helps the abdomen to be raised and lifted, which reduces pressure and helps the person move more easily every day.

Pelvic Support: Many women experience pelvic pain or instability due to loosening ligaments during pregnancy. Belly bands help stabilize the pelvis, easing pressure and providing relief during activities like walking or climbing stairs.

Recommended Times and Duration for Wearing a Belly Band

A pregnancy belly band is only effective when worn sparingly. Professionals recommend that it be worn between 2 and 3 hours a day rather than throughout the day to prevent muscle dependency.

Best times to wear one include:

• During physical activity like walking or light exercise
• At work, especially if standing for long periods
• While running errands or doing daily tasks
• In late pregnancy, when belly heaviness and pelvic pressure increase

Remove the band when resting, sleeping, or sitting for long stretches so your core muscles stay active. If it feels too tight or uncomfortable, it’s time to take it off.

Are There Risks of Overuse or Wearing It Too Tightly?

Yes. Excessive use of a belly band during pregnancy can lead to dependency on the muscles of the core and the back, as your core and back muscles do not work independently. It can also be too tight and limit the blood flow, raise the abdominal pressure, scratch the skin, or cause breathing to be uncomfortable.

To be used safely, wear it not longer than several hours at a time, loosely, not tightly, and take it off when you experience pain, numbness, or dyspnea (shortness of breath). This will support you without tampering with the natural strength of your body.

Safe Use in Each Trimester: Early to Late Pregnancy

Belly bands may also be useful at various points in pregnancy, but the way you wear them and when you wear them is important. In every trimester, your body changes in different ways and your belly band should change accordingly.

First Trimester (Weeks 1–12):

Most women don’t need one this early since the bump is small. Some may use it for light back support or as a waistband extender. If worn, keep it occasional and gentle.

Second Trimester (Weeks 13–27):

This is when belly bands are most helpful. They relieve belly pressure, round ligament discomfort, and pelvic pressure as your belly expands. Wearing one for several hours per day, particularly when active, can enhance comfort and posture.

Third Trimester (Weeks 28–40):

During a walk, when standing or exercising, the pressure on the back, hips and pelvis is less since the belly bands bear the extra weight. Wear them not long-term; wear them only in cases when you realize that you require additional support.

Who Should Avoid Using Belly Bands (if anyone)?

Although belly bands are safe in most cases, there are some reasons that belly bands may not be prescribed:

• High-risk pregnancies – Women with placenta previa, who could be at risk of preterm labor, or who have special problems with their uterus, should not use belly bands without their doctor.
• Circulation or breathing issues – Compression can worsen the difficulties experienced by people with varicose veins or difficulties in the blood circulation, or difficulty breathing.
• Skin sensitivity – When you spend a lot of time in a belly band, it can irritate your skin.
• Pelvic floor problems – There are instances where additional pressure on the abdomen is not the best for women who have pelvic floor dysfunction.

Always consult your medical practitioner before wearing a belly band, especially when you have other health issues, just in case you are in doubt about it.

What Healthcare Providers Say About Belly Band Safety

In the majority of cases, healthcare providers hold the opinion that belly bands are safe during pregnancy when applied properly. Most obstetricians and physical therapists recommend that they relieve some of the overall pain, such as lower back pain, round ligament pain, pelvic pressure and strain on posture. They are particularly useful in the second and third trimesters when the bloated belly imposes further strain on the body.

Providers, however, remind that moderation is the key, belly bands should never be worn all day and should be tight but never too tight in order to promote muscle dependence and ensure that they do not restrict blood circulation or make breathing difficult. They are regarded as an aid to support but not a substitution for gentle strengthening exercises, which ensure the health of the core and pelvic floor.

Physicians also warn women who are on a high-risk pregnancy, who have circulation issues or who have certain medical conditions to consult a physician before using one. In most healthy pregnancies, though, belly bands are viewed as a safe, non-invasive way to stay more comfortable.

Conclusion

A pregnancy belly band is a safe product that can be used to relieve discomfort when properly used. It provides moderate back, belly and pelvis support to relieve pain, improve posture and simplify everyday life. This is all about moderation and the perfect fit, putting it on just a few hours in a day, it has to be snug without being tight and you should always pay attention to your body.

Despite the advantages associated with belly bands to the majority of expectant mothers, women who have high-risk pregnancies or some health considerations would require authorization to use belly bands. When used reasonably, a belly band is more than safe; it is a most convenient way of giving support and comfort during pregnancy.

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Pretend play is the way young children practice turning internal images into actions. By taking on different roles, for instance, they absorb various image-sets of feelings, attitudes, and behaviors. When children play, they enter the realm of the imaginal, the world of the artist and poet. This world is their home. It’s where the young mind must hang out if it’s to grow appropriately. Through play experiences, children plan and organize, predict and anticipate, take risks, reflect and experiment.

Decades of empirical research have established the multiple benefits of children’s imaginative play. Because image making forms the basis for thought and because the young brain naturally seeks symbolic experiences, play develops cognitive, emotional, and social learning.

Make pretend play your parenting priority because of these three major advantages:

1. Give Children Limited Control and They More Readily Cooperate. I stumbled on this powerful strategy when I was a single, working mother. And with two rambunctious sons, ages 5 and 3, was I ever grateful to have found it! Since my kids were not easy, I was very skeptical, but the research behind the idea was sound. So, desperate, I tried it out. I was amazed at how well it worked. You could call it, “Let Your Child Be the Boss of You for 20 Minutes in Imaginative Play,” once or twice daily.

Begin by asking “What do you want to play today?” My sons were into Star Wars so they spent a lot of time defending the galaxy. After you enter the agreed-upon play scenario, ask your child questions so that all the decisions about the play are up to him/her. In other words, your child tells you what to do. It will go something like this:

Mom:  “Okay, who should I be today?’

Child:  “You be Princess Leia.”

Mom:  “What should I wear?”

Child:  “You wear this white nightgown.”

Mom:  “Great, and I guess I’ll wear these shoes.”

Child:  “No, you got to wear the black shiny ones.”

Mom:  “Okay, I’ve got my black patent leather shoes on, now what?”

Child:  “Now you go in the space ship. I drive.”

Mom:  “You manage the spaceship well. Where we going?”

Child:  “I have to go see Jabba, the Hutt.”

Mom:  “Oh, can I come, too?”

Child:  “No, you have to stay on the ship until I get back.”

And on it goes…for twenty to thirty minutes. After that time, you take off your costume, put down any toys and become Parent again.

With control during pretend play, youngsters grow in autonomy and competence, necessary for self-determination and inner motivation. And, to my delight, they become more, cooperative too. Since children have the reins during the play scenario, they get their need for control out of their system. With the play complete, they are very happy to give those reins back to you, exactly where they belong in the real world.

2. Prepare Children for Playing Nice with Peers. Playing with your two-year-old supports later peer interactions. Research shows that when mothers play with their youngsters at 2.5 years, it helps the children six months later play cooperatively with kids they had never met. And even later at 4 and 5 years, researchers found those same youngsters while playing with close friends, were applying what they learned from their mothers two or three years previously. For instance, children whose mothers balanced sensitivity and responsiveness in play like jumping on a trampoline were more likely to show those same skills with their friends. If moms were sensitive to their children’s interests and requests, the children grew to do the same with their peers. The evidence continues to mount. Parental modeling during pretend play brings far-reaching results.

3. Set the Foundation for Academic Success. We know that when children play longer before entering formal schooling, they do much better academically. In Singapore, China, and Finland, for instance, three of the highest-performing education systems according to the major international ratings, the average starting age for formal education was right around seven years old. From 0 to 7, play predominated as the pathway to learning. 

Research has found that pretend play also fosters an impressive array of skills that are necessary for school success including taking another’s perspective, regulating one’s emotions, taking turns with peers, sequencing the order of events, and recognizing one’s independence from others. Not surprisingly, children who engage regularly in imaginative play are more creative than their peers and often leaders in their peer group.

Pretend play gives youngsters opportunities to grow autonomy, competence and self-determination while honing their creativity and growing the foundation for academic and social success. Plus, it’s fun and energizing for everyone. Expect to be inspired by your child’s unique abilities. And encouraged by the many positive changes you will see!

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Some of life’s challenges can seem like mountains, especially to children. Unfortunately, some parents try to move the “mountains” that are before their children when they should instead teach their children how to climb mountains. In education, we define such parents as “enablers,” for by moving mountains instead of allowing their children to mountaineer life’s challenges, such parents enable their children to give excuses for problems. This causes children to miss opportunities to develop critical life skills.

If you are a parent who wants your children to succeed, here are five skills kids learn as they go “up and over” challenges like they would a mountain.

1. Dignity – This commonly refers to the honor we confer on others by appealing to their intellect with honesty and truth, offering sensitivity to feelings, and respecting one’s right of self-determination. We dignify people by recognizing their value as human beings. By teaching children to dignify others, kids reciprocally learn that they should expect others to dignify them as well. Thus, dignity refers to a pattern of moral behavior that both warrants and gives honor. By teaching our children of their own dignity, we instill value in them while at the same teaching them that others likewise deserve it.
2. Self-Discipline – The ability to restrain oneself from various feelings, impulses, and desires serves as a shield against temptations to settle for what is easy. The right choice and the difficult choice are often one and the same. Temptations to lose discipline always come in the form of lusting after something we see, something that brings bodily pleasure, or something that inflates our pride. Many bad decisions are easy to choose and made when we lose discipline and fall for these categories of temptation. Our children will be tempted to lose self-discipline for the entirety of their lives, so it is paramount they learn not to.
3. Responsibility – Since reputation is determined by action, responsibility thus carries with it culpability. Personal growth and respect are inhibited when one chooses not to do what is expected of them. By teaching our kids responsibility, they do as expected, accomplish more, and honor both themselves and the values you instill. Furthermore, they develop trustworthiness.
4. Accountability – Not be confused with “responsibility,” accountability simply necessitates giving an answer and does not imply obligation. This is a crucial skill. Our children are never responsible for what happens to them in life, but they are always accountable for their responses regarding what occurs. How they respond is what will determine progress or stagnation. Accountability trains our kids in humility, and it provides ways for them to be proactive and intentional. When our kids learn accountability, they never have to be victims again for they are in control of their responses.
5. Resilience – Resilience is the quality of being able to adapt to life-stressors and overcoming hardship. Resilience is a response. It is choosing to respond wisely to suffering while growing both through and from it. The enemy of resilience is an incorrect assumption that one knows how challenges will end. When our children are allowed to believe that they know the concluding result of a matter, we invite them to give up instead of exercising resilience. Life bombards everyone with numerous hardships. If we hope to see our kids overcome their hardships, we must teach them to be resilient, not fix their problems for them. 

In summary, metaphoric mountains continually offer opportunities for children to encounter challenges, react to them, and then reap the consequences of their responses whether these be positive or negative. This is practical learning. Mountain-climbing affords children the ability to adapt, which ultimately yields skillsets that promote wise choices, honor others, and set our kids up to be productive. The next time your child encounters a mountain at school or in life, choose to help them scale it rather than enabling them to produce excuses. They will one day thank you, and you will place yourself in company as rare as the air on literal mountain tops.

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A simple dictionary review informs us that accountability is a condition of being responsible for something. It’s the state of being answerable to a superior. It is likewise a position where one is worthy of another person’s trust and confidence. Indeed, accountability distinguishes the mature from the immature. Mature people can handle adversity. Immature people often wilt under difficult circumstances. Accountability, then, is a job-ready skill, a relationship skill, and a life skill. It is also the greatest gift you can give your child, because once they learn it, they will never have to be a “victim” again.

Let’s look at seven steps needed to teach others accountability.

1. When teaching any skill, engagement with the child should be based on the frequency of inappropriate behavior and seldom the degree of immature behavior. Frequency confirms a missing skill. Irresponsibility peeks its head often, so repetitious behavior should identify what a child cannot manage.
2. There are essentially three habitual behaviors that all unaccountable people struggle with. It may be one or more, but accountability needs to be taught and practiced if you recognize any of the following:
   1. They are beset by uncomfortable or overwhelming feelings that result in chronic trouble.
   2. They cannot maintain composure if someone around them can’t either.
   3. They are unable to do something when it is difficult, or they don’t want to do something requested.
3. If you recognize any of the above behaviors, you will need to assist that person with learning accountability. First, you will need to set boundaries if you want to navigate this obstacle course successfully. Boundaries help reduce worry but be careful…many make the mistake of teaching before establishing the necessary boundaries. You want to be predictable when teaching accountability. Accountability must be confined within boundaries and never by mood. When someone lacks accountability, they will do something that frustrates you. This is why an atmosphere of predictability is crucial. Be clear. Be kind. Be consistent and predictable.
4. Through the process, understand that you will need to provide time, relationship, and questions. You should seek ownership, partnership, and coachability from the child. The key is the relationship component. Irresponsibility will frustrate you. This will tempt you to distance yourself from that person, but don’t do that. It will only isolate the person from you, and they will no longer want to partner with you to grow.
5. Remember, when you partner with someone, you are coaching them, not lecturing them. A lecture never changed anyone. Coaching, however, leads people to change by asking great questions. An example would be asking someone if their choice made their situation better or worse. They know the answer. Allow them to voice it rather than you informing them. This exercise leads to the next requirement to successfully coach accountability: Practice.
6. Just like learning the skill of throwing a ball correctly, learning the skill of accountability also takes lots of practice. Practice leads to confidence, and increased confidence leads to increased effort.
7. Lastly, maintain high standards. Never lower standards for your child just because they have suffered something. When we lower standards, we rob our children of the chance to gain confidence. The pain they experience may not be their fault, but it is always 100% their responsibility to function maturely through problems. We don’t change expectations because every person is worthy of being successful. Don’t let your child avoid overwhelming feelings. Lead them through them and practice managing them appropriately.

Accountability is challenging because it is a vulnerable process for both parties. Ironically, parents are often strict when it comes to academics, but some are lax when it comes to behavior. The irony is that academics seldom impact real-world relationships, while behaviors will make or break a person. There is no algorithm for interpersonal skills. These depend on accountability but remember: Relationships don’t change children. Accountability is where change occurs.

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