Some years ago, I made the completely illogical decision to walk away from the life that I had known for twenty-plus years so that I could be near a spiritual teacher half-way around the world from my home, my husband, and my familiar self. It was the most courageous act I had ever committed up until that time, but the moments leading up to that decision were fraught.

To follow my heart in that instance meant going against everything I had learned to identify with in my role as a reliable, perfectionistic, secret-keeping, approval-seeking people pleaser with an aversion to rocking the boat. I was tormented by thoughts of what people would think, how my professional reputation would be affected, not to mention my marriage and personal life.

It was tantamount to admitting I was way off course and throwing out everything I had built up until that moment. It seemed crazy, but my soul was screaming, and I finally listened.

I stepped into the unknown without knowing how any of it would unfold. All I knew was what I wanted, which was More Life. That one decision sensitized me to the power of grace.

Looking back, I had engaged in what I would now call a spiritual decision-making process, and from my perspective as a coach, I can now articulate the steps I took intuitively, if unskillfully. And spiritual decision-making has become an actual process I teach my clients for how to live their most fulfilling lives.

So, what’s the difference between a spiritual decision-making process and any other kind of decision-making process?

It can be distilled to one simple question: what would I love?

It seems so simple, but the truth is that many people have a hard time answering that question.

There can be a lot of static between us and knowing what we would love. I believe we often erect barriers to that knowing because if we allowed ourselves to truly know what we would love, that knowledge could take us outside our comfort zone, or threaten the status quo.

But when our soul is crying out for more life and we truly desire to grow, we find ourselves at a crossroads. We must choose between living our lives by design, or by default.

The act of deciding to step into a greater dimension of ourselves brings up old paradigms of limitation and fear. This is exactly when we need to employ the art of spiritual decision-making.

Most of us were taught to make decisions by looking at what our current circumstances will allow. Unfortunately, this is the surest way to keep us stuck, unconsciously repeating the patterns of the past, because our current circumstances were created by those very patterns. It’s impossible to create anything new in condition-based thinking, because by nature our true potential resides in the Unknown.

That’s why ‘what would I love?’ is the most potent question. Try it now.

Ask yourself ‘what would I love?’ in the area of your most pressing discontent. Tune in with your body and your energy and see how it feels to ask the question. Does it give you butterflies? Do you feel excited? This simple question puts you in a frequency of possibility right away.

‘What would I love?’ opens you to the energy of your heart, and opening to heart energy puts you in touch with higher purpose – your soul. When you connect with your soul, you align with Spiritual Law. And when you take a step, trusting in the Law, you will always be supported. Why? Because it is the nature of Spirit to expand, and it seeks to expand through you.

Spiritual decision-making is illogical. It’s radical because it’s the opposite of how we were taught to think, looking for guarantees and waiting for the right conditions before we feel safe enough to take a chance on a life we would love. It is of the heart, not the mind. It asks only for the ‘what’ and the ‘why’, not for the ‘how’.

Let your first and only question be ‘what would I love’, and you will walk with grace, possibility, magic, and a sense of play. Trust that the Power breathing you wants you to step towards the dreams of your heart so that it can experience a greater life by means of you. As my spiritual teacher once said to me, “Trust in the Unknown. The Unknown is filled with Light.”

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Imagine for a moment the life of your dreams, a life you would absolutely love living, in all its glorious details. As soon as you allow the reverie to unfold, it’s likely you’ll be met with a bunch of objections from your mind about how impossible and unrealistic that is – especially right now.

Pandemic. Corruption. Pollution. Climate change. Injustice. It’s crazy out there, and if you pay attention to the media, you’re being force-fed a steady diet of fear. But you don’t have to put your dreams on hold. This is the time to lean into them!

Wallace Wattles, the author of the classic The Science of Getting Rich, said, “To think according to appearance is easy, but to think Truth regardless of appearances is laborious”.

The truth is that Spirit knows no time and respects no circumstance. It speaks to us continually through images of what we would love to be, do, have, give and create. It seeks expression through us in the form of a life we would truly love living.

Despite earthly appearances to the contrary, this universe is governed by immutable laws of perfect grace and mathematical precision. Life reveals to us a higher order of exquisite balance, harmony, and beauty if we know how to decipher its codes.

These codes constitute what we call dharma, a Sanskrit word meaning ‘the way’ or ‘the law’. These are permanent principles by which Creation creates and operates – the secret language of Spirit.

Why secret? Because the invisible laws which govern Creation are just that – invisible. They underlie appearances. And when we get caught up in appearances, facts and conditions, and mistake them for truth, the voice of Spirit is muted.

But we can learn to hear and speak the language of Spirit by holding solid state on Truth, regardless of appearances.

Actually, the language of Spirit is our native tongue. We were born knowing it, because we have an innate capacity to recognize Truth. But if it wasn’t nurtured in us, we gradually lost touch with it until we forgot we ever knew it. Many of us share a deep and primal feeling of having lost something precious somewhere along the way – that innate sense of connection with our own Infinite.

We can never truly lose it; it merely slumbers. But do we have to relearn the language consciously, as adults, and take responsibility for our creative power.

Becoming fluent in the language of Spirit is like becoming fluent in any new language. Immersion is key, and continued practice is essential.

If you really want to learn a new language, you listen to it, read it, write it, and speak it as often as possible. You learn the rules of grammar, you increase your vocabulary, you work on your accent and rhythm. But most of all you get out there and use it.

At first, you’re hesitant, halting, and you make mistakes. You have a hard time understanding what’s being said and you miss a lot; you express yourself in limited ways, and sometimes you may feel frustrated that you cannot make yourself understood as clearly and precisely as you would like. But you’re willing to be uncomfortable in the service of your growth.

Eventually things start to flow more, and you’re able to not only decode what you’re hearing, but also communicate your thoughts and intentions more clearly, and in time, with more subtlety and power.

In my second language of French, I continually work on improving my fluency, because I passionately care about expressing myself at the highest level.

I want more than just being able to make sense of what I hear, more than being able to ask for directions and order food at a restaurant. I want to communicate with all the nuance, humour and wit that I command in my native tongue. And I want to be able to play.

How much fluency do you want with the language of Spirit? How important is it to you to bring forth the life of your dreams? Is it ok with you to feel tongue-tied, frustrated and limited? Or would you rather experience your creative power and actualize more and more of your true potential?

To increase your fluency with the language of Spirit, familiarize yourself with the three universal laws listed below. Each one has an associated mantra to help you practice the language of Spirit. It’s good to write these mantras on index cards and keep them with you, as well as reviewing them before bed to implant them in your subconscious.

Focus your attention on the following universal laws for 7 days and refuse to make agreement with any appearances to the contrary.

1. The Law of Creation. We automatically create our reality based on our vibrational frequency; it is our very nature to create, because we are made in the image of the Creator. If we wish to change the results in our creation, we must make a vibrational shift first.

• Fluency Action Step: accept the truth that you are creating your reality with every breath. Whenever you forget, remind yourself with the mantra, “I am the Creator of my experience. I am empowered and responsible.”

2. The Law of Reflection. The reality we create is a perfect reflection of our beliefs, conscious and unconscious. Reality is a mirror that reflects to us what we truly believe, deep down. If you want to know what you really and truly believe you deserve, look at your life. The pain points show you the areas of dissonance where you are not yet in the flow of universal law. Trust the reflection you are being shown as coming from a benevolent universe that wants only your highest good.

• Fluency Action Step: Drop resistance and blame with regard to any situation you have judged as bad, wrong or unjust. Whenever you find yourself complaining or feeling like a victim, bring yourself back to Truth with this mantra: “I am being shown where I have yet to love and accept myself fully. Even if I cannot see the divine intelligence in this reflection, let me stay open to it revealing itself to me”.

3. The Law of Abundance. We live in an abundant universe. There is no such thing as lack. Where there appears to be lack or scarcity, there is simply a lack of awareness of the Truth, which is abundance. 

• Fluency Action Step: notice and place your attention on abundance wherever you observe it (nature is a great place to start). Whenever you notice thoughts of lack or scarcity, replace them with this mantra, “I am a divine spirit having a temporary human experience. Abundance is my birthright and I am intrinsically worthy of all the good I desire. I am provided for, supported and sustained”.

If you lean into this practice for 7 days, you will move a lot of energy and start to shift your reality. But don’t take my word for it, get out there and start using the language!

It’s time for us to remember the secret language of Spirit. In so doing we manifest the most cherished dreams of our hearts, play with the Universe and delight in our birthright as children of the Infinite. We enter a higher order of being, individually and collectively. There’s never been a better time to say yes to our destiny: ascension.

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You know that feeling you get when that person crosses your mind – like your guts are getting squeezed, or you feel an actual pain in your heart? Or your breath becomes shallow and you feel anxious and shaky, or a wave of fear and dread as that situation comes unbidden into your mind? Again?

I remember the first bitter heartbreak of my life when my boyfriend of 18 months – but who I’d been in love with for years – told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. I didn’t even see it coming. And then it was a process of slowly and painfully tearing off a band-aid for another six months after the initial breakup as we continued to see each other every weekend. I couldn’t emotionally let go. He felt guilty, and I kept hoping he would miraculously change his mind. But he didn’t.

When I finally gave up, I walked away in a bewildered state of hurt, fragility, and helplessness. I dreaded any thought of him, which was hard to avoid because we still belonged to the same circle of friends.

I could not hear of him or speak of him without dissolving into bitter tears, and each instance sent me into an emotional tailspin that would last for days.

Ever been there?

It felt like I would never be free of him. And indeed, for years after, any moment of contact with him, even just in my mind, caused a feeling of inner contraction, like a wince as if I were bracing myself for a punch.

I erected a wall of sardonic humour between us. Over time, the pain gradually diminished and no longer dominated my psyche. But I never actively forgave him. That story became supplanted by other dramas of a similar character. And in reaction to that pattern, I learned to seek out situations where I could be emotionally in control.

Actually, I can trace the breakdown of my first marriage all the way back to my complete lack of understanding of what forgiveness really is.

So, how do we forgive the deepest hurts? The ones that feel so personal. How do we deal with the deepest wounds and the things that feel unforgiveable, even diabolical?

Here’s the proposition that will allow you to forgive anything:

Would you be willing to accept the possibility that absolutely everything that has ever happened to you was for your highest good?

What if we were able to look at every situation we never wanted and ask, “How might this be good?”

Now stay with me. I’m not saying that you could immediately see the good in something that any feeling person would call terrible, unjust, or tragic. There is real heartbreak and real injustice in this world. We’re not denying that or being deliberately perverse. But we are denying the power of darkness to bring us down or determine our character or our future, or how we’re going to live and show up in the world.

Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Let no man pull you low enough to hate him”.

When we ask, “how might this be good”, we are asking to be shown the way to a greater life. We are asking to receive the gift that is implicit in every challenge. We are asking the universe to demonstrate its benevolence by trusting that every situation presents us with an opportunity for growth and greater freedom. We are acknowledging that everything is for us, and when we do that, we live in a different reality.

Try this process:

• Describe the event or situation, including the facts of the behaviour.
• Ask yourself, “how might this have been for my highest good?” Imagine that you had ‘hired’ the other people involved to behave exactly as they did, to play this role in your life so that you could grow into an even greater version of yourself. What valuable learnings or wisdom might you have been looking to receive through this situation?
• Commit to an experiment for 21 days, where every time this situation or person comes into your mind, you practice saying, “I wish them well and I wish myself well”.
• Finally, imagine how you will feel, when this situation no longer has a hold over you and your inner landscape. Feel those elevated emotions and imagine the greater life you are bringing in for yourself.

This is a forgiveness hack that can actually transform your relationship to anything in your life you might view as ‘bad’.

Lean into it, and you’ll discover a miraculous Truth: everything in this universe is conspiring for your good.

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