There are a surprising number of statistics regarding goal setting that reveal a lot about why people don’t achieve their goals. In 2023, 30% of U.S. adults were not likely to set goals for the year. Twenty four percent were categorized as “winging it” and only 23% were planning to be diligent in writing their goals down with action steps and focus.   So here’s a truth bomb: the key to achieving your dreams is not merely setting goals, it’s the intention behind everything that you do.

Oftentimes, we overlook the importance of our intentions and solely focus on the end results. In this blog post, we will dive deep into the concept of adrenalized intention and learn how to use it to make our dreams a reality. Whether you are self-employed, a business owner, or an executive, this secret ingredient to success will unlock your full potential and transform your life.

Intention is the driving force behind our actions, the energy that determines our direction, and the mindset that ultimately decides our success. It is the catalyst that can either propel us forward or keep us stuck in the same place. Defining intention is of utmost importance if you want to formulate the right strategy that would lead you to achieve your dreams.

To harness and adrenalize the power of intention, you need to answer these three critical questions:

1. Where am I headed?

Before you can figure out the best way to get to where you want to be, you need to know your destination. This may seem obvious, but it’s crucial to have absolute clarity about your goals. If you don’t know where you’re headed, it’s impossible to make efficient and productive decisions. Take the time to envision your desired outcome and ask yourself if each of your actions aligns with that vision.

2. Who do I want to be?

Who you become along the journey towards achieving your dreams is just as important as the result. Your values, beliefs, and principles should be congruent with your aspirations. Reflect on the person you want to be and make decisions that align with that identity. When you are true to yourself and aware of the role you play in your success, the journey becomes more rewarding and fulfilling.

3. Why do I want this?

Understanding your “why” is the foundation of your intention. Why are you chasing your dreams? What motivates and drives you? Your reasons behind wanting to achieve your goals need to be strong enough to withstand every obstacle and challenge that comes your way. When you are clear about your “why,” it fuels your actions with unshakable determination and focus.

Now that you have answered these key questions, it’s time to use adrenalized intention to propel you forward.

This process involves deliberately and consistently tapping into the energy that arises when you remember and focus on your “why.” It means maintaining a sense of urgency and conviction in everything you do.

Staying connected to your adrenalized intention requires that you actively engage with your goals daily. Make a habit of reviewing your goals, motivations, and progress daily. Visualize the future you desire and feel the excitement it brings.

When you are emotionally connected to your intention, it becomes significantly easier to stay focused and committed to the trajectory of your dreams.

Achieving your dreams is a journey that requires clarity, determination, and a solid understanding of your adrenalized intention. By answering the critical questions of where you are headed, who you want to be, and why you want it, you create a roadmap that guides you towards your dreams.

Remember that the power of intention can propel you forward or hold you back; make a conscious choice to engage with your intentions daily and watch your dreams become a reality. With adrenalized intention as your secret weapon, there’s nothing standing in your way!

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We all have intuition; it’s an innate power that we all possess. It is one of our most crucial ‘muscles’ that we rely on for guidance when faced with difficult decisions and challenges.  It provides us with insight on ourselves, people, and situations.   Unfortunately, our intuition can often be clouded and weakened by the ego – judgment, fear and anxiety replace our intuition and take over the decisions in our life.

How powerful would life be if we could all trust our intuition without judgement? The truth is judgement of self, others and situations can be extremely damaging to our ability to correctly interpret the signals that our intuition is sending. We often discredit our own judgement in favor of aligning with what society norm, but judgement weakens the strength of your connection with true insight, aka the intuition muscle.

This muscle is also crippled by fear.   Fear has an incredibly powerful impact on our lives and can prevent us from recognizing the potential in ourselves. It often serves as a barrier and can be a roadblock to uncovering our intuition. Intuition can provide clarity in decision-making and help us gain insight into the world around us. However, fear weakens this internal guidance system, numbing us to its guidance.

The good news is that intuition can be reset and strengthened so that it guides us through tough situations with confidence.  Here are five ways you can adrenalize this crucial muscle:

1. Trust Your Gut: This might seem like a no-brainer, but following your intuition or gut feeling is essential when making decisions. Instead of second-guessing yourself or allowing other people’s opinions to sway you, trust yourself. Tune into your inner voice and allow it to guide you! Listen to your gut feeling when making decisions – instead of overthinking trust that the answers are already within. It’s time for self-empowerment on all levels!
2. Find the Right Place for Judgment: Judgment and intuition can coexist, but it’s important to know when and where judgment is needed in your life. When making decisions, try to step back and ask yourself what intuition or gut feeling is telling you before you make a hasty decision. Get in touch with your inner guidance and trust that it will lead you to the right place. By tapping into intuition, we can make decisions based on our heartfelt desires rather than acting impulsively out of judgment. Take a moment to pause and be still – ask yourself if this is something that truly speaks to you before responding or committing. Explore ways to free yourself from judgement to open up a pathway for trusting your intuition and allowing it to lead you quickly and confidently towards success.
3. Recognize the Signs and Patterns: We all receive signs and patterns that tell us which direction to go; by recognizing these signs, we can trust our intuition more when making decisions. Paying attention to the little things can help you uncover deeper meanings and trust yourself more when making choices. There are no coincidences in life, everything has been intricately designed and is laid out right before your eyes. When we are blind by fear and anger, we miss these signs.  Letting go of the these feeling will open our eyes and hearts to see what is right in front of us more clearly.  It will allow us to recognize the signs.
4. Speak with Positive Language: Our language has a powerful influence on how we think and feel about ourselves; speaking positive affirmations encourages us to trust our intuition and be confident in the decisions we make. Anchoring ourselves in positive language provides us with opportunities to grow and develop. When we use negative language, we become heavier, and we suppress our intuition.   We must live lighter, more positive and we will experience the true breakthrough of our intuition.
5. Recognize that Fear is a Survival Need: The fear response often shows up when we are making decisions or taking risks—this fear is necessary, as it helps to keep us safe in the physical world. Learning to recognize this fear and how it affects your intuition can help you make better decisions and stay true to yourself. Committing time to calming fear will lead you to a more balanced, centered state of mind which encourages strong intuitive connections that are key for making problem solving easy and dynamic.

By following these five steps, you will be able to adrenalize and reset your intuition and develop a stronger intuition ‘muscle’ that will lead to a deeper relationship with yourself so that you can trust your intuition more when making decisions. Intuition is an invaluable tool that can guide us through tough situations with clarity and confidence; don’t let judgment, fear or anxiety replace intuition in your life. Reset your intuition muscle and unlock the incredible power of intuition!

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Are you stuck in a rut, or just taking a pause? It can be difficult to tell the difference and decide when you’re stuck in analysis paralysis.  Analysis paralysis is a state of over-thinking and worrying, where a person feels overwhelmed in making decisions and completely frozen from taking any action. It’s an issue that can have a profound mental, emotional and physical impact on our life and our business.

Studies have shown that analysis paralysis produces feelings of fear, anxiety, inward focus, low self-esteem, and hopelessness. This can lead to procrastination or avoidance, which further impedes progress towards goals. As someone remains stuck in the analysis stage of decision-making, they lose momentum and eventually become fully paralyzed, unable to make any meaningful advances towards personal or business objectives.  Losing momentum is a complete violation of adrenalized living.

When we feel stuck or overwhelmed, it can sometimes seem easier to avoid making decisions. However, when you stay stuck for too long in the same spot, you miss out on opportunities and potential growth. On the other hand, taking a pause doesn’t mean that you are giving up. Rather, it is an opportunity to re-evaluate your goals and reflect on what has been working for you so far – and what hasn’t. Taking a pause gives you time to think about where you want to go and how you can get there.

The key is to use the pause in a productive way. Ask yourself if your stuckness is due to fear, lack of knowledge, or something else. If it’s due to fear, then it might be helpful to overcome this by understanding what scares you and learning more about the topic so that you can make an informed decision. On the other hand, if you feel stuck because of lack of knowledge, then it would be beneficial for you to invest some time into researching and familiarizing yourself with new concepts.

It’s important not to stay stuck for too long – but at the same time don’t rush through decisions either. Taking a pause will help you gain clarity and the right perspective to make smart decisions. Don’t forget, a pause can be your best friend when making major decisions!

So don’t stay stuck in the same spot – take a pause, evaluate your options, and get ready to move forward with confidence! The good news is that there are steps you can take to help clear the path and get your adrenalized living back on track!

Here are 6 secrets to help you decide if it’s time for action, or if it’s best to pause and think before making any moves:

1. Know what success looks like for you. Take the time to identify your goals, both short and long-term. This will provide clarity on what direction you need to go in order to reach them.
2. Create an action plan outlining how you will achieve those goals. With a clear plan in place, there’s no room for doubt or indecisiveness.
3. Consider the risks and rewards of your decision. Once you have a plan in place, it’s important to consider all potential outcomes before taking action.
4. Take note of any doubts that are holding you back. It’s normal to question yourself but if these doubts become paralyzing, it may be time to pause and reflect on why they’re holding you back.
5. Learn from past experiences. Reevaluate the successes and mistakes you’ve had in the past and use these lessons as guidance when making future decisions.
6. Seek out advice from trusted mentors or colleagues who have been in a similar situation. They may be able to offer unique insights and provide clarity on what steps you need to take.

The first step is usually the most difficult one to take when you struggle with making decisions.   Taking action – even small steps – is all it takes to get unstuck and put yourself back on track toward an exhilarating life.  The steps defining success, creating action steps, weighing your risks, resolving what holds you back and learning from your experiences as well as your mentor advice will adrenalize you to see and think more clearly so that you can act without reservations.

Don’t miss out on opportunities by staying stagnant; break away from sameness and try something new today – unleash potential growth with every courageous choice that’s made!

By following these 6 secrets, it will become clear if you’re stuck in a rut or simply taking a pause. As long as you stay focused on your goals and trust the process, you can move forward with confidence! Best of luck on the journey towards achieving adrenalized living!

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While it’s easy to think you are all alone in that, as comparison sets in, you truly are not. In fact, there are many ways we experience loneliness, and that doesn’t always mean that we are by ourselves. Unfortunately, people are often lonely in their relationships, and the holidays can often bring this feeling to the forefront of their awareness. The key is to recognize that although you may feel lonely, you are not alone.

It takes tremendous courage to reach out and ask for help when we feel lonely. However, there truly is no better salve when you feel lonely than to reach out for support. Summoning the courage to join a group, take a class, call a friend or family member, or do something for yourself that pushes you out of your comfort zone will activate the feelings of connection and aliveness you’re craving. If you push yourself beyond the threshold of what you feel is possible and expose yourself to new opportunities, you will be rewarded for your courage.

If you or someone you know is struggling with this, are in crisis, or thinking about hurting yourself or themselves this holiday season, hotline support systems can be a genuinely helpful place to turn. You can call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org.

We should never feel ashamed to ask for help.

Navigating the holiday season can be a real challenge some years. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, your family is in the midst of a personal crisis, you are suffering from an illness, or the pressures of the season have just hit you at the wrong time amidst your day-to-day responsibilities, this month can be a lot.

Here is a roadmap to adrenalize your holiday season

1. The most important thing to do is to schedule time for your self-care. If the stress of the season gets to you, and you haven’t taken the time to care for yourself, by the end of the month, you’ll likely feel sick and unable to enjoy everything you worked hard for. So, when you can carve out some space, try to exercise, eat well, meditate, and do the things that make you happy.
2. Be intentional and get organized! When we think about what we need to do and don’t create that plan, it can overwhelm us. Reducing burnout and overwhelm means tackling our procrastination head-on. Adrenalizing our approach to holiday planning means embracing the anxiety and sense of defeat that may naturally flare up at times, and then choosing courage to generate momentum out of that stagnation and into action.
3. Be courageous in challenging situations. This season can come with a lot of requests, demands, and responsibilities. Don’t be afraid to say ‘NO’ to things. The holidays can be difficult in trying to figure out where you and your family will spend them. Choose what makes you happy and what is best for your immediate family. It will take courage, but you can do it.
4. Take some time to reflect on the year. What are some things that you feel you need to heal from as we close out this year? Where do you want to see change in 2023? Take the time to reflect and contemplate what you want things to be like next year. And remember, be forgiving of yourself.
5. Be grateful and act with kindness. We have so much to be grateful for, even in the tough times. Celebrate what you do have. And if things are tight and you can’t give material gifts, remember that kindness and love are valuable gifts too. So spread some kindness. Reach out to someone you know and see if you can help them in any way. Be grateful that you are able to lend a helping hand.

These strategies are often simple to overlook, but when you apply them in your life, they will help you to adrenalize your holidays so that you can enjoy each and every moment!

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When a relationship changes within a family, whether through divorce, separation, or breakup, the transition that occurs can unravel any sense of balance we may have established as parents before the shift.

If we need to uproot our family and move, we experience a transition. The loss of a loved one causes us to experience a painful transition, whereas the birth of a child is a joyous one. We may lose our job or decide to make a career change, bringing on another transition. We might experience an accident, a change in family dynamics, or decide to return to school.

Whether the transition is one we deem positive or negative, they are likely paired with some intense emotions. This is made all the more challenging within a family unit, as we are all experiencing the transition both together and individually. Each family member navigates transitions differently.

When the situation has a more painful or negative charge to it, such as losing a job, going through a divorce, or the death of a loved one, the voice of fear can grow louder within us, especially as parents.

One of the most common transition points in our society is the midlife crisis, when someone between 40 and 60 experiences an abrupt crisis of identity and self-confidence. This period instead, can mark a wonderful time for reinvention if we see the opportunity in it.

Transition is change and change is a constant.

Transitions can lead us to become distracted by our overpowering emotions and send our goals and daily responsibilities spiraling off track. However, transitions also present opportunities. Opportunities present themselves to adrenalize and move past feeling stuck and paralyzed by change. We can reexamine our values, clarify our direction, redefine our goals, and clear space for new beginnings.

I recently came across this unknown quote: “If I cut you off, chances are, you handed me the scissors.” What a powerful quote that possesses so much meaning, especially when using it to reframe significant relationship changes.

Here are three components required for adrenalized living during a transition:

1. Be intentional in evaluating what no longer serves you.  During a time of transition, it is an opportunity to let go of the old to make room for the new.  You must regain focus on what is good for you.  You may hold on to things that continue to serve, but let go of the things or the people that are no longer serving a purpose in your life.

2. Be courageous to re-establish your control. You control which people will continue to be part of your life.  You decide what is best for you.  No one else can know what is best. The thing we always control is how we respond to situations.
3. Be grateful for what you have received and the gift of the people in your life. Gratitude is the key to letting go of things with love. Acknowledgement and appreciation for the lessons learned is a key to living adrenalized.

Oftentimes, we are afraid of the road ahead and stuck in our comfort zone. Parents especially can often fall into survival mode when edging outside of our comfort zone due to our best intentions of building stability for our kids.

However, remember to recognize that the transition you face is happening for you – not to you. It’s time to grow, but first, you need to weed out that which does not serve you or your family anymore.

If you are separating or divorcing, let go and recognize it’s time to focus on yourself to find out who you are in this next chapter. It is a beautiful opportunity to explore what will serve you so you can step into the best version of yourself.

If you are at a turning point in your business and others are holding you back, let go of those who are not supporting you. Most likely, they have fired themselves. Letting them go is the best way to release anger and resentment from building up within you.

If you have just become a parent and are struggling with the adjustment, let go of the preconceived notions that you held before about being a parent. Stay present and let the current situation inform you as you write a new story.

You have control. You hold the scissors.

Let go of everything in gratitude and love rather than disappointment and anger. Everything you do role-models a way of being for your kids. Show them you can process your emotions as they arise while also staying rooted in your deep trust in life. Change is something we must all grow familiar with. You can teach them how to navigate it by embodying your own self-trust, self-love, and willingness to move on.

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Overthinking is a national epidemic among young and middle aged adults, but grows less debilitating the older we get. 73% of 25 – 35 year-olds overthink compared to 52% of 45 – 55 year-olds. Overthinking contributes to anxiety, depression, and interferes with our ability to problem solve.

When we’ve been stung by the procrastination bee, we let our creative energy and dreams build up in our minds until the pressure surmounts our ability to break through it. Whether the idea you’re wrestling with is a creative project, a career shift, a big move, or ending a relationship, the longer it lives in your head, the scarier it will become.

What does it mean to “adrenalize”?

At its core, to adrenalize means to excite, to stimulate, to activate. Epinephrine is another name for adrenaline. It is a stimulant, and while high doses can be harmful to our bodies, in the form of medication it’s used to treat severe allergic reactions. But, when it comes to harnessing its power to catapult us out of procrastination with enthusiasm, it’s a life saver.

Adrenalizing our ability to take action occurs on both an internal level with our mindset, and on an external level with our routines and the tools that trigger the physical sensation of being energized in our body. To burst through the fog of overthinking, we need to focus on the things that genuinely pique our interest and choose an intention that holds real meaning for us. If we continually stimulate that perspective, over the voice of fear, we will stoke the fire of our passion and create organic momentum that builds upon itself.

Instead, many of us fear our failure so deeply that we fail to try at all. We pour ice water over the flames of our excitement. We give into self-doubt and sabotage our momentum.

There are so many excuses that the voice of fear will make to prevent us from starting or sticking with something. Our minds process this fear as logical or realistic information and so we often give it far more weight than it deserves. Fear is an important advisor to help us avoid danger. But, when we allow fear to become the CEO and call the shots, our excuses are often just barriers to us achieving our goals rather than a valid threat.

When was the last time you made an excuse, and it robbed you of success?

Here are 7 ways to adrenalize your ability to take action:

1. Stop overthinking it

I hate to break it to you, but your thoughts are getting in the way. The more mental energy you expend circling around a problem or a goal from every possible angle, again, and again, and again… is only stirring up more dust in your mind. It’s making it harder for you to perceive the situation accurately, which creates more fear and stress.

2. Stop the distractions

It starts out innocently. A five-minute scroll on Instagram. A twenty-minute TV break. It spirals into you hour after hour, day after day, always finding something else that feels more important than making real progress. Of course, breaks are healthy and you don’t need to burn yourself out to accomplish something massive overnight. But this is why making continual progress in small steps is so healthy and important.

3. Stop choosing the easy thing to do instead of what you should do

Again, if you’re constantly finding something else to do that feels easier because you’re not motivated to do what you know you should, this is your reminder to knock it off. Be honest with yourself, if what you’re pushing off just doesn’t matter to you, then don’t waste your time. However, if it really does mean something to you and it’s just the fear, laziness, or overwhelm steering you away, then it’s time to take control of your life.

4. Be intentional

Continuously get clear on what matters most to you. What do you value? If this task you’re failing to take action on is one of those things, then it’s critical that you prioritize it. The more you can focus on why this is important to you and remember what you’re hoping to experience on the other side of this task, the easier it will be to push through.

5. Jump in the water

Dipping your toe in will take forever and only breed more excuses. In situations like this, the best thing to do is just jump right in. Do the work you can prepare yourself, mentally and physically, but beyond that, you need to trust and hit the ground running.

6. Change your perspective on failure

If the idea of failing creates roadblocks to your momentum, then you need to ditch that perspective. Instead, see failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. Think of it as another step to mastery – because it really is. Beating yourself up about failures or mistakes along the way will only slow you down.

7. Just start

If it feels “easier said than done”, that’s probably because you spend more time saying it than just doing it! As they say, imperfect action is better than no action at all. Whether you block out 30 minutes a day to sit down and tackle the beast in front of you, you book that trip, you quit that job, or you have that difficult conversation, the only way out is through. The quicker you start, the quicker you can be onto the other side.

You have everything in you that you need to take action, accomplish big things, and make the hard moves in life. Don’t let fear and excuses take away your opportunity to experience success and true fulfillment.

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“I have so much work to get done this weekend to prepare for Monday’s presentation”

Have you found yourself or your spouse say any of these?

If your answer is “YES!”, you are not alone.

Whether your work for someone or run your own business, being a working parent is not easy. It’s the reason why so many burnout. Remember that burnout is a combination of beings stressed and fatigued.  A recent study found that 66% of working parents are burnt out.  The same study also reported that the rate of burnout increased in households with two or three children and then increased again with 6 or more children.

Parents who are burnt out are more likely to display behaviors consistent with depression and anxiety.  They are also more likely to scream at, spank, criticize and insult their children.   These can obviously lead to child abuse and may be a very serious issue.  So how can we reduce the burnout experienced in working parents?

There are several strategies to implement that will help reduce burnout among working parents.   Here are four key strategies that you can use to adrenalize you to reduce the burnout:

1. Seek a flexible work schedule.

This is an obvious one.  Depending on your type of work, having more freedom in your day will allow you to better manage your childcare.  It also provides the opportunity to run errands to the grocery store, the pharmacy and post office.

With the decrease in supply of qualified employees, companies are offering more flexible schedules and opportunities to work from home.  If your current employer doesn’t offer a flexible schedule, it is time to ask for it or to change jobs to companies that do offer it.

2. Leverage your resources.

You must take advantage of the resources that are out there for you.   You must be willing to ask for help.  As a parent of teenage son and pre-teen daughter, my wife and I are always leveraging our resources.

We find ourselves carpooling more often, asking our parents, utilizing our babysitter, and allowing our children taken on responsibility for chores.   It is so important begin thinking outside of the box.  If you have children who are older and independent, it is a great opportunity to teach them how to be a responsible adult.

Take advantage of the wellness programs that your employer offers as a benefit.  Utilize employee assistance if you are struggling with your mental wellness.  Enroll in your flex spending account and utilize it for a gym membership or something that promotes your self-care.

3. Decrease the stressors.

It is easier said then done, but we must decrease the stressors.  They way to do this is develop new boundaries.  It’s not just your job, it everything that is in your life that you must evaluate to reduce the stressors.

Take an inventory of your stress.  Make a T-chart and on one side write down the things that cause stress.  On the other side, write a solution to that stressor.  For example, a stressor may be your child’s sports activities.  For me it’s the amount of time we dedicate to baseball tournaments.  These take place over several days at a time. One solution is to split the days that I take my son vs the days my wife takes him to his games. You’re not a bad parent if you don’t go to every game…so get that out of your head.

Try this activity with a solution mindset.  There is a solution for everything.   If you struggle with finding a solution, remember that ‘NO’ is a boundary and a solution.

4. Take time for self-care.

Self-care is critical to reducing burnout and you must create a boundary.

Find 30 minutes out of the daily 1,440 minutes for you.  Whether you go to the gym, take a walk, or mediate, find an activity that refreshes your mind, body, and soul.   It will provide you with the clarity to recognize the solutions to your stress and how to optimize your resources.

These four strategies of seeking flexible work, utilizing your resources, and decreasing your stressors and taking time for self-care will help you to begin the process of reducing burnout. Ask yourself, what happens if I don’t make these changes?

Take the time for you.  Take the action to find the best job that fits your lifestyle.  Ask for help, you don’t need to be a hero.  Act decisively to make the changes you desire.

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Effective communication is the key to all relationships.  Communication breakdowns result in relationship turmoil.  Improving our communication with the people we care about, especially family, will lead to stronger, healthier, and more meaningful relationships.

Communication includes what we say, how we say it, and our body language. Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  Over 90% of our communication has nothing to do with our words but rather our voice, tone, and nonverbal body language. How we make people feel is critical to the success of our communication style.

It is important to develop good communication skills for both the positive and negative experiences we have in our relationships. We often avoid the difficult conversations, however, an essential part of creating strong, positive bonds in our family relationships is about being well equipped to handle difficult conversations.

Your goal is to adrenalize your family in developing effective communication skills with your children. These three steps will help develop trust, strong bonds, and positive experiences with your children:

1. Practice “active listening” with your children.

As parents, we often find ourselves saying, “If you would just listen to me, things like this wouldn’t happen.” How often do you listen to what your children are saying? It is challenging to listen to your children. We often lose patience when we need to listen the most.

A Highlights.com survey of children ages 6 to 12 years old revealed that 62% felt that their parents were too distracted to listen to them. Are you too distracted to listen?  How can we improve our listening skills to ensure that our kids know that they are being heard?

One skill that will improve your listening ability is called “active listening”. Active listening is essentially a skill where you repeat to your child what they have said in your own words. For example, its Sunday night and your child says, “Mommy, my stomach hurts.”  Using active listening, you say, “I am sorry your tummy hurts, is there something happening at school tomorrow that you are worried about?”

Active listening will revolutionize your communication with your children and ensure they feel heard.

2. Encourage your children to use “I feel” statements.

As a coach, I encounter many clients who have difficulty expressing how they feel.  When this happens, I remind them of the 5 core feelings to help them express how they are feeling. Our 5 core feelings are sad, happy (or joy), afraid, angry, and sexual. When we express how we feel, it makes our statements unarguable.

To help your children express their feelings, use “I feel” statements. Use this great formula to teach your children ‘I feel” statements to clearly communicate their feelings:

“I feel (what is the feeling), when (the behavior displayed), because (state why you feel this way).  What I want/need is (state the behavior you want to see happen).”

For example, “I feel angry when you go into my room and go through my things, because it makes me feel that you have invaded my privacy. What I need is for you to ask me directly what you need to know.”

When you practice this formula, you will better understand your child’s feelings and reduce arguments, build trust, and improve overall communication.

3. Acknowledge your fears to tell the truth.

We often struggle with telling our children the truth, but how can we expect them to trust us and tell the truth if we aren’t truthful with them? Children are resilient and should be told the truth.

We usually lie to children when we don’t want to face the truth of our reality. As parents we understand more implications of what is involved in facing the truth. As adults our fears prevent us from sharing the truth.

Don’t let your fears negatively impact your relationship with your children. Fear is often a central theme to why we don’t say what we need to say. If you want to adrenalize your communication with your children, acknowledge your fear first, and then tell them the truth.

Adrenalize your communication with your children by following these three steps: practice active listening, help them express their feelings, and be truthful. These steps apply to any relationship, whether it be an intimate partner, sibling, parent, or friend.  These three key ingredients will adrenalize all your relationships. Take the time to practice them and you will be successful. And remember, it’s not what you say or what you do, but how you make someone feel that matters.

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Sweating, heart racing, feeling afraid for your life …have you woken up at 3am and felt this way? Our nightmares have a great way of activating our fight or flight stress response.

If this has happened to you recently, what is causing your nightmare? Maybe afraid to change careers or get out of a bad relationship?  If the answer is yes, then it’s time to adrenalize your mindset.

A change in mindset is the gamechanger in these situations. There are 2.2 trillion Google search results for the keyword “mindset.”  Many are searching for new ways to approach life with a mindset that will lead us to the fulfillment, satisfaction, and happiness we all want.

An adrenalized mindset provides the clarity needed to be decisive and act.  It enables us to identify possibilities.  It equips us with the tools required to overcome obstacles. It mitigates our fears so that we can use the fear as advisor and friend instead of enemy.

Adrenalize your mindset starting with these three steps:

1. Be Open and Curious.

According to Psychology Today, people that are open are more attentive to their feelings, more comfortable with the unknown, and more likely to experience new things. In addition, people who are open are more curious and enjoy surprises.

To live adrenalized, we must lift the restrictions that limit us from living as our truest self. This means that we face new opportunities by being receptive to others’ ideas, viewpoints, and ways of doing things.

If you are afraid to change careers, it may be because you don’t know where to start.  Take the first step by being open and curious about new possibilities.  You don’t have to look hard to find these.  Start with what comes naturally to you and what you love to do.

If you are afraid to leave a bad relationship, it may be because you have ignored your gut feelings.  Open yourself up to experience your feelings. This will activate your ability to identify what you need and seek ways to satisfy these needs.

2. Be Vulnerable.

What does it mean to be vulnerable? The definition is “a state of emotional exposure that comes with a certain degree of uncertainty.” Any time we try something new, step outside of our comfort zone, or don’t know what lies ahead, we are vulnerable.

Vulnerability is an emotional risk. It’s a risk that we must take if we are going after what we want. If we let our fear of the unknown paralyze us, we can’t grow.

If we are not vulnerable when we recognize the need for something to change, then we are limiting our ability to change. Being vulnerable involves asking for what you need and expressing your thoughts and desires.

Being vulnerable allows us to experience the present moment.

3. Be Trusting…Trusting of yourself.

Trust is the foundation of our self-confidence and self-worth. Therefore, it is also the foundation of an adrenalized mindset. Trusting yourself is imperative to being open and vulnerable.

Trusting yourself is knowing that you have the ability and skill to doing anything. You have the wisdom of what you need and want from an experience. When we trust ourselves, we are focused on progress, not perfection. We know that we will accomplish what we have set out to do.

Whether it’s a career change or relationship, trusting yourself leads to the success of these circumstances.  In both, you are the only one who can know what you need.  You may say that you don’t know what to do, but the truth is you often know what to do, but you are too afraid to do it.  Trusting yourself will adrenalize you to embrace the unknown.

Stop waking up in a sweat, it’s time to sleep better.  Adrenalize your mindset by being open and curious, vulnerable, and trusting. The experiences you will explore, the curiosities that will be resolved, and the opportunities to grow will be endless. This is how we create the adrenalized mindset to achieve the fulfillment, worth, and confidence we want for ourselves.

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What impact has COVID and quarantine had on our self-confidence?

I recently read a research article stating there was an increased use of social media platforms during lockdown and an increase in the number of people reporting low self-esteem.

Why do we compare ourselves to others to determine our self-esteem or self-confidence? Do you believe that your self-confidence is in your control? It is.

You control the narrative on how confident you feel. In working with clients that struggle with confidence, I ask them to define what it means to them. I often hear that confidence “is knowing yourself,” or “being able to admit when you are wrong.”

Self-confidence is an awareness and understanding of your abilities, your qualities and even your judgement. Essentially it is trusting yourself.

How do we adrenalize our self-confidence?

Here are five steps to help you adrenalize your self-confidence:

1. Determine your locus of control.

We either have an internal or external locus of control. We have an external locus of control when we are controlled by something outside of ourselves. We are influenced by what others do, believe, and say about us. When we look at social media, for example, we are influenced by what is going on in other people’s lives and we assume that we lack something because the perception is that the other person has it. We feel badly about ourselves when we have an external locus of control.

When we have an internal locus of control, we are in control of what we do and how we respond to situations. Someone with an internal locus can look at social media without allowing their perception of others’ lives to influence their own self-image. They maintain the control.

People who see their control as coming from within themselves understand that they choose how to respond in every situation. People with an external locus of control surrender to the circumstances and give in.

Therefore, to adrenalize your self-confidence, you must be internally focused and recognize that in any situation you can control how you respond. You maintain your control when you do this.

2. Love yourself by staying true to your values.

When we understand what we value and learn to love ourselves, we develop the context of our confidence. Loving yourself is not easy for many people, but it is essential to living confidently.  How do we develop our love of self?

Discover what you value and what you believe about yourself. Values are important pillars to build your self love upon. When we understand what we value and find ways to live by those values, we develop our love of self.

Our beliefs about ourselves are imperative to loving self. When we have false beliefs, we live in a fixed mindset and don’t recognize the possibility for change. When we say, “I’m not worthy” or “I’m not enough,” we maintain beliefs that are self-deprecating. When we believe that we are worthy, we build a strong foundation in self-love.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Social media places our comparison to others in a very prominent spot. We scroll through social media constantly. It is incredibly difficult to resist the urge to compare.

However, the only comparison we should make is a comparison to ourselves. We should ask each day, “Am I better than I was yesterday?” In loving ourselves, we should want to be a better version of ourselves. Comparing yourself to the person you were yesterday, or last week, or lasty year is the way to develop that best version of self.

4. Hold yourself accountable.

One of the most important steps to adrenalizing your self-confidence is to hold yourself accountable. Accountability is about integrity. It’s recognizing your responsibility in a situation.   It’s knowing that you can take responsibility for your actions.

When we take responsibility and do what we say we will, we develop more trust in ourselves.   That’s what builds self-confidence.

5. Surround yourself with positive people.

If you are with people who constantly tear you down instead of building you up, then let go of those people. A person who has an external locus of control surrenders to the naysayers and consumes the negativity as truth.

Surround yourself with people who build you up and validate what you believe about yourself.  The people in your life should encourage you to go further. They should bring out your desire to grow and be the best version of you. When you are surrounded by people like this, it develops a healthy external locus of control.

Adrenalize your self confidence by recognizing that you control the narrative. Stop wasting time hating yourself and love yourself instead. There is no need to compare yourself to others, but only to the person you were yesterday. Maintain your accountability and you will trust yourself more. Lastly, surround yourself with positive influences. We need people who build us up, not tear us down.

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