Halls, houses, and lawns are decked with festive decorations. Kitchens are filled with delightful, savory aromas. The air is laced with laughter, familiar music, and the tinkling of Salvation Army bells.

The holiday spirit is everywhere.

But underneath the bright lights, smiles, and cheerful greetings lurks the unseen warehouse of holiday expectations. Somehow, we must top last year, and the year before that. This season must be bigger, better, more colorful, and more delicious. We must somehow make this holiday the best ever.

We have expectations. We have ideas of how this should go, what should happen, and when.

We have expectations of others. Others have expectation of us. We have expectations of ourselves based on what we think others’ expectations are.

Even our culture has expectations. Have the appropriate holiday spirit. Engage in holiday cheer. Fa-la-la-la-la, and all that. Be happy! And above all, buy, buy, buy.

The pressure mounts.

What if we’re not in the mood? What if we’re sad? What if we’ve lost a loved one (or several)? What if we’re depressed?

Holidays are times for reminiscing. Memories of what we once had swim before our eyes. We become hyper-aware of who and what we’ve lost.

Amid the smiling faces, there are wounded hearts.

Grief is lonely thing. Surrounded by gaiety, a broken heart can feel more alone and isolated than ever. No one wants to hurt for the holidays, but some of us do.

If you’re hurting these holidays, what can you do?

Here are three tips for navigating this stressful and emotionally confusing time.

1. Manage those expectations.

One question to ask yourself might be, “Exactly whose game am I playing here?”

Instead of plowing ahead as usual, pause and take a good look at your expectations and plans. What do you want this holiday to be like? What’s honestly possible and realistic? What do you want to do, how, when, and with whom?

This is the season of overwhelm. Take a deep breath and choose to focus on a few things. What’s most important? In your mind, what’s non-negotiable?

Along the way it might be good to let those close to you know you’re doing things differently this year. This will help manage their expectations too.

2. Make a simple plan to remember loved ones who’ve passed on.

Acknowledge the elephant in the room. Speak their name. Talk about them. Share their story. Invite others to share a special memory or what they miss most.

Holidays are a wonderful time to honor the special people who now reside in our hearts rather than next to us.

3. Be kind to yourself.

You can do more than merely survive. Take your heart and health seriously. Pace yourself. Exercise. Get good nutrition. Hydrate. Rest. Pursue wellness.

If you love yourself well through this time, that love will spill over onto family and friends as well. The best gift you can give them is a healthy you.

Watch those expectations. Decide what’s most important and focus there. Simplify. Honor loved ones who are no longer here. Be kind to yourself along the way.

These holidays might be tough and stressful, but they can still be good. Take your heart seriously and make it so.

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My oldest daughter found out early. She was around six or seven when a well-meaning friend mentioned that she had discovered the Tooth Fairy was fake at a young age, all while my daughter, unbeknownst to us, was standing in the room behind us. My daughter looked at me in disbelief, and we both started crying as her innocence was shattered prematurely. My friend, to her credit, couldn’t stop apologizing for revealing the truth.

The Heartache of Growing Up

My middle daughter was around nine when she found out, courtesy of my firstborn. She was completely unfazed and moved on without any ill feelings. Her indifference was oddly comforting to me.

Now, my youngest—who’s currently 10—began getting suspicious this year after hearing “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” on the car radio. I glanced at her face in the rearview mirror and saw the wheels turning. She asked if Santa was really Daddy, and before I could respond, she declared, “Yes, that must be it.” Then, she accused my husband and me of buying and bringing the gifts on Christmas Eve.

And thus began my moral dilemma. Of course, she was right, and I had spent her entire life enforcing the idea that honesty is the best policy—always tell the truth, never lie. But innocence fades so quickly, especially in our social media-obsessed world, where everyone knows everything, whether they want to or not. And she’s my youngest. Her knowing the truth would sadly mark the end of an era—my kids being kids, none the wiser.

Instead of admitting that she was correct, I chickened out and changed the subject. I’m just not ready to burst her bubble. Maybe she senses that and doesn’t want to burst mine either by telling me that she already knows the truth. Her sisters get upset with me and urge me to set her straight, simply because they’re tired of living the charade themselves. I tell them to hush and threaten them with punishment if they ever let the cat out of the bag.

To make matters worse, my husband and I frequently go out “Christmas shopping” now that my teenager is old enough to babysit. In reality, we just go on dates with each other, but my youngest has asked about this, too. She wonders why we need to go shopping if Santa’s the one who delivers the gifts. I respond with yet another falsehood, claiming that Santa brings some gifts while we give others. Lies, lies, lies. There’s a large box of presents in my closet that I’ve told the kids to stay away from, which only makes things more confusing for my daughter.

I’m guessing this will be the last year of this charade. I’m pretty sure she’s figured it out, and soon she’ll start asking about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I imagine I’ll break down and admit the truth sooner rather than later. The mix of sadness, guilt, and wistfulness will flood me for the third time in my parenting life. I hope she’s easy on me when it happens. After I come clean, I’ll tell her what I told my other two daughters.

Santa is real. No, not the guy who miraculously travels the world in one night delivering gifts to millions of kids, but the concept of Santa is alive and well. The reason we’re really here is to serve and love. It’s all about giving, not getting. They call it the most wonderful time of the year for a reason. We’re all idealists in December, filled with hope, positivity, and enthusiasm for all that’s good in the world. If we’ve had a hard year, it’s almost over, ending in the warm glow of Christmas cheer and preparing us for the fresh start ahead.

It’s okay to believe in fantasies. From the time our kids are little, we enrich their lives with them—princesses, fairy tales, dragon slayers. We do everything we can to stimulate their imaginations and let creativity run wild. Why stop at Santa and his fellow holiday mascots? Daydreaming and fantasizing can make life more bearable, especially when things get tough. I say we encourage those things.

As for my youngest daughter, I’ll let her decide when she no longer believes. I certainly won’t be the one to sit her down and say, “We’ve lied to you all along. It’s time to grow up and face reality.” As for you and your kids? Only you can decide when the time is right to tell your kids about Santa. And only you can decide how to explain why you didn’t tell them earlier. I hope every child understands that their parents always have their best interests at heart, even when it involves little lies.

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The Pressure of the Christmas Wish List

Of course, the Christmas wish list is very important! It gives parents a chance to see what their children would be happy to receive on the big day. The problem, however, is that many kids hope—or even expect—that they’ll receive every single item they’ve listed. Little do they know that Mom and Dad are simply trying to figure out how to afford at least some of what they want and are hoping they can prioritize and purchase the gifts their children most want. Oh, the stress of it all!

When kids are young, dolls, baseball gloves, toy guns, soccer balls, Nerf guns, etc., are typically within the range of “Santa’s” budget. But starting around age seven, the “wish lists” begin to be enough to give Mom and Dad a stroke! The Legos they put on their Christmas list a few years ago were a mere $29. Now, that just won’t cut it. This time around, they want the 31313 LEGO Mindstorms EV3, which just happens to cost over $300.

Luckily for you, your wonderful daughter (a tomboy, aged 10) said she’d be happy with that, since the PlayStation 4 she really wants is even more expensive. When you remind her how pricey her choices are, she says they really aren’t… since they don’t cost anything, because Santa will bring them!

Touché.

That’s the major problem with allowing your kids to “believe.” We want to give them the best childhood we can by letting the fantasy of Santa, the elves, and all the magic live on. But man, it costs a pretty penny to do so! Gone are the days when kids were happy with an orange and a few pennies in their stocking on Christmas morning. Kids these days have sophisticated tastes, and they’re not afraid to ask for the world.

The world we live in today is much more of an “indoor” one. We’d rather sit inside and stare at screens than spend time in the great outdoors. Unfortunately, screens cost an arm and a leg, and they become outdated almost as fast as we acquire them. Kids spend so much time on phones, tablets, TVs, e-readers, and handheld gaming devices that they rarely ask for much else on their Christmas wish list. $$$!!!

Is it not time to let kids know that sometimes, Santa is facing a recession, or that their choices are simply insane?! Asking for $300+ gifts is just plain nuts! I think it would be great if Santa would put out a press release and let the world (and especially our greedy little monsters) know that this year—and possibly every year for the next decade or so—Santa’s facing hard times. Due to layoffs, binding arbitration with Rudolph and the other moneygrubbing reindeer, increased sick day pay to the elves, etc., Santa can’t deliver like he used to. Alas, the wish list needs to become more realistic.

But how do we make our children understand that the mythical, magical man in the red suit has fallen on hard times? Isn’t the entire point of the Santa “fantasy” that by being good, we can have everything we want in life? How do you explain to a child that despite all their hard work toward being a fine, upstanding citizen, Santa just can’t reward them the way he’s supposed to? What’s a parent to do?

Keeping “the secret” while also being practical and sensible is a balancing act every family has to navigate. Kids are only young for what seems like a few short minutes in the grand scheme of things, and we want them to believe. But we also don’t want them to become greedy, shallow, materialistic consumers who think the purpose of life is acquiring every shiny new thing that catches their eye. This is especially true considering that most kids lose interest in their Christmas gifts a few months—or even weeks—after the season has passed. Nothing is more frustrating to a hardworking parent than seeing all those expensive gifts flung into a forgotten pile before their shine has even worn off.

Christmas should be a joyous time. However, thanks to advertising by big corporations, it has become extremely expensive and is slowly depleting Santa’s collective bank account. Though it may not help Santa this year, perhaps he should just give free Netflix to all the Moms and Dads of the world. This would ensure our wonderful children won’t see ads for things that “Santa’s Helpers” can’t afford next year. Perhaps he could throw in some ad blockers for the computer while he’s at it!

In the end, just remember that playing Santa is a relatively short phase in your life, and you’ll be sad when it’s finally over. Once your kids “find out,” they become a little more cynical and a little less enamored with the Christmas season. Yes, Christmases during your children’s younger years may practically break the bank, but one day soon you’ll miss perusing those scribbled Christmas wish lists. Your moody older children will make you long for their earlier days of wide-eyed wonder when everything seemed possible to them, and they truly believed they could have the world itself if they just asked Santa for it. And that innocent attitude? It’s priceless.

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Sure, if you’re a child, Christmas is magical. You write a list to send to Santa and simply wait for him to bring you all that your heart desires. But for adults, this time of year can be one huge stress bomb. So many elements go into orchestrating “the perfect Christmas,” all of which conspire to create a toxic mixture of anxiety and exhaustion.

Handling the Christmas Chaos

It might not be so bad if you’re the planning type. Organized people may actually enjoy the challenges presented by this festive season. Writing up and crossing off one task after another on a mile-long to-do list is an absolute dream for some. These folks are usually the first to send out their Christmas cards each year. But for most people, pulling off the perfect holiday can be downright nightmarish.

If you’re like me, you thrive on the last minute. I do my best work when I have a deadline and the seconds are ticking away on the clock. But for such an incredibly busy time as Christmas, this personality trait can practically guarantee disaster.

First come the decorations. I don’t personally enjoy dragging six million bins full of ornaments and baubles down from the attic. And I never have the courtesy to pack everything up in a sensible manner after the prior Christmas has become a thing of the past. Therefore, hours are spent sorting through everything and trying to organize it all before displaying it in and on my house. At least I do play Christmas music and drink cocoa while decorating, so that does take a little bit of the sting out of it.

Then come all the parties. I’m not complaining about being invited to Christmas parties, of course, but attending too many of them can be quite stressful. Finding a fancy dress, booking a babysitter, driving to and fro, conversing with other partygoers… it can be too much at times. And throwing my own Christmas party? Forget it. That would send me over the edge without a doubt!

And what about the Christmas cookies? Oy. Not only do you feel compelled to bake so very many batches, but for some reason, we become possessed with the desire to box them up and hand them out to all our neighbors. Funny thing is, they’re baking their own cookies and handing them out as well. Strange ritual.

The very worst is waiting until the last minute to buy presents and… even later to wrap them! My husband and I have cursed ourselves more than once for putting this tedious task off. No one wants to stay up until 3 AM the night before Christmas trying to wrangle every amorphously-shaped gift into cumbersome wrapping paper. The finished product of the gifts we wrap would make Martha Stewart clutch her pearls. We toss them under the tree, take a picture of the scene for posterity’s sake, and stumble up to bed, only to be woken by three very anxious and excited children four short hours later. All the coffee in the world can’t help us perk up in time to watch our girls shred and peel the paper off the gifts that were paperless just hours before.

While we’re on the subject of gifts, the pressure to buy the perfect presents for our girls seems to increase with each passing year. As they get older, their wish lists seem to grow longer, more sophisticated, and very much more expensive. The teenager wants this brand and that. To review her wish list, you would think she believes that she was born into the Rockefeller family. The younger two have equally pricey requests. No longer are stuffed animals and board games acceptable—they want electronics. Anything that plugs into the wall and costs three digits is satisfactory for those two. My husband and I have actually forfeited our wish lists in the past few years in order to free up more funds to purchase our daughters’ gifts!

The Christmas stress doesn’t end there. Once all the gifts are unwrapped and distributed to each respective girl’s room, it’s time to clean up the mess and prepare for our extended family to come over for Christmas dinner. We’re not talking about hamburgers and hot dogs served on paper plates, either—Christmas dinner is “supposed” to be “special.” The same amount of work that goes into Thanksgiving dinner also goes into Christmas dinner, except that Christmas morning was crazy busy, and we’re surviving on just a few hours of sleep. To me, Christmas dinner is the most stressful part of Christmas. We have the biggest house of all our family members, so we almost always have to host. Sigh.

Now that I’m an adult, I actually enjoy December 26^th more than December 25^th, and here’s why. It’s all over. The cookies, the parties, the buying, the wrapping, the giving, the cleaning, the cooking, the hosting. All. Over. There is no more relaxing day of the year than December 26^th. Some OCD people use that day to tear down and store their decorations, but not me. I leave them up until January 2^nd. That means I have over a week to chill after the pressure of the Christmas season has come to an end. I love that week and look forward to it for the entire month of December.

In fact, New Year’s Eve has become my new favorite holiday. My family has a ritual that I’ve come to enjoy thoroughly. We go to the supermarket, buy a ton of junk food (and a few adult beverages), come home, change into our pajamas, watch TV, and gorge ourselves until the new year arrives. No one is invited to this “party” of ours, and the pressure is totally off. I love it.

Our pursuit of perfection causes us to nearly buckle under self-inflicted holiday pressure each year around this time. It would serve us well to pause and reflect on why we do this to ourselves. I’m sure our kids, friends, neighbors, and family members wouldn’t notice, or even care, if we cut some of the craziness out. Perhaps next year, I’ll treat Christmas a little more like New Year’s and just sit back and enjoy it instead of stressing out so much. Maybe that truly is the secret to making this the most wonderful time of year.

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Flowers on Valentine’s Day are one of those romantic traditions that simply will not die—and for good reason. They make people happy. Flowers are an immediate sign of love and honor, an emotional pick-me-up, and a joy to have around the house. It’s believed that flowers can soothe and create warm environments that reduce stress, induce romance, and even encourage communication.

The common red rose symbolizes a strong feeling of love, and its universal significance has been known to provoke excited utterances worldwide. Of course, if you’re not quite ready to make a bold statement of emotion and would rather tone it down to something like, “I really, really like you and think you’re very cool,” there are other options, such as white, yellow, purple, and even an interesting shade of green. Each color has its own symbolic meaning. A mixed bouquet of roses on Valentine’s Day can make someone feel remarkably special and wonderfully empowered by emotion.

Exploring Other Flower Options

While roses are the most common flower sent on Valentine’s Day, it’s becoming increasingly popular to send bouquets of alternate flowers. This tradition likely began with a man who didn’t want any misinterpretation from a bouquet of roses showing up on his girlfriend’s doorstep. It seems he was receiving quite a bit of pressure to pop the big question, a commitment he wasn’t yet ready to make.

Lilacs, carnations, irises—whatever you can imagine—can now be sent to the door of your loved one (or your “really, really liked” one). Whatever you choose, it will be met with a warm reception, because that’s what flowers do.

Fortunately for the flower-sending challenged, flower companies have made it easier than ever to send flowers to just about anyone, anywhere, and for far less than you might think. A beautiful bouquet can be purchased and delivered for about $25–$30, sometimes even with the addition of a Mylar balloon. Most local flower shops can guarantee same-day delivery as long as you call before noon, with some extending that cutoff as late as one or two o’clock.

What’s even better is that most florists can create a stunning arrangement just for your special Valentine by learning about their personality. You don’t need to know the names of the flowers or anything about them. The florist will take care of it for you. They’re there to help those who may be less confident about sending flowers. So, as you can see, I’m slowly eliminating all the typical excuses for not sending flowers to your hopeful one this Valentine’s Day.

Some people just don’t understand why flowers are such a big deal. They either see them as a money or time. After all, they just sit around and die—why bother with something that lasts only a few days before turning brown?

Because it means something to the person you care for. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s silly. If they think it’s beautiful and adds a wonderful moment to their day, isn’t that the point? Besides, most people who question the value of receiving flowers on Valentine’s Day have never actually received them.

Sending flowers on Valentine’s Day isn’t just for men anymore. Women have recently begun to step up and return the favor. However, women should consider that men often work in environments where it’s not always appropriate to send flowers to their workplace. If you’re interested in sending flowers to your guy this year (which, surprisingly, many men appreciate), it’s best to send them to his home instead of his office. Even the macho guy with a bouquet on his dining room table might get teased by his coworkers, which is far from the point of sending them in the first place. Not all men will immediately “get it,” so don’t be surprised if he stands there, staring at you for a moment. But chances are, even if he pretends not to understand, deep down, he’ll be a bit tickled.

Flowers are simply one of those “you got it right” gifts that can enhance a romantic Valentine’s Day for both of you. You don’t have to wait until you’re head over heels in love to express your thoughts with flowers (and by the way, your mother would appreciate a bouquet, too!). The meaning of flowers transcends all boundaries. Take a moment, call the florist, and sit back to enjoy the fireworks you’ve set off.

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Celebrations honoring mothers trace back to ancient Greece, through Roman times, and continue today. The first official Mother’s Day in the United States was initiated by Anna Jarvis, who encouraged her mother’s church in Grafton, West Virginia, to hold an annual service for mothers, starting in 1908. By 1914, Mother’s Day was proclaimed a national holiday in the U.S.

The first Father’s Day in the U.S. also occurred in 1908, but its path to official recognition was longer than Mother’s Day’s. Like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day began as a church service in West Virginia. The inaugural Father’s Day was held on July 5, 1908, in Fairmont. It was likely inspired by a tragic mine explosion in nearby Monongah in December 1907, described as the worst disaster in American mining history. The explosion, caused by methane ignition, killed 362 men and boys, leaving over 1,000 children fatherless. Given its proximity to the first Mother’s Day service, the initial Father’s Day was probably influenced by the holiday for mothers, held less than two months earlier.

Sonora Smart Dodd and National Recognition

On the other side of the country, Sonora Smart Dodd, inspired by Anna Jarvis’s efforts to establish Mother’s Day, sought to create a similar day for fathers. Her father had raised six children alone, and to honor him and others, Dodd organized the first Father’s Day on the third Sunday in June 1910 in Spokane, Washington. She introduced a now-lost tradition of wearing flowers: a red flower for living fathers and a white flower to remember deceased ones. This celebration became the foundation for Father’s Day.

The honoring of fathers gained widespread support. By 1916, President Woodrow Wilson’s family celebrated Father’s Day. President Calvin Coolidge recommended it as a national holiday in 1924, but it wasn’t proclaimed until 1966. It became a permanent national holiday in 1972 under President Nixon.

Like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day is celebrated globally with gifts and cards. The tacky tie has become a traditional gag gift in many North American homes.

Internationally, Father’s Day is observed on various dates. Most countries follow the North American tradition of the third Sunday in June, but others celebrate in March, September, or November. In nations like South Korea and Vietnam, it’s known as Parents’ Day. In Russia, the holiday celebrates the “fatherland” and is widely recognized as a men’s holiday.

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The older girls, at 14, were too old now for what they saw as “childish things,” yet they wished, somehow, from the depths of their hearts, that they could travel back in time and be 4 again—just so they could still believe. So they could grab the candy cane and feel the electricity of Santa’s hand touching theirs.

Their mom still put out reindeer food each and every Christmas Eve, still forced them to spend a day baking cookies to leave out for Santa (that always seemed to get burnt), and did her best to hide the presents and the worried look on her face about how she was going to afford Christmas for all these kids. She never came right out and told them that Santa didn’t exist, but they knew. In fourth grade, one of the obnoxious kids at school started blurting out insults to anyone who still believed. He was a magic thief, rebelling against the fact that someone had already ruined it for him. Like most things kids find out too soon, the knowing was accidental.

When they asked about it that night, Mom told them he was real, but they noticed the redness in her face that said she was lying. Even though the subject never came up again, and the little elf named Cassandra—who had been wreaking mischief on their home since they were toddlers—still came back every year, they knew that the magic and hubbub of Christmas was nothing more than a lie.

The Gift of Belief

So this year, they would live through their two younger siblings. They were the lucky ones. They had a 4-year-old and a 9-year-old in the home, which meant they still got to visit Santa at the mall. They still had to make wish lists and lick an envelope so that Mom could pretend to mail them to the North Pole. Sure, they pouted and acted like it was a chore, but deep down, it kept a little bit of the magic alive for them.

They still got to sip stifling hot chocolate loaded with gooey marshmallows on Christmas Eve and never knew what they would be getting under the tree on Christmas morning. They still would be forced to have their picture taken with Santa, just as they did every year since they were one year old. They liked Christmas enough, but it certainly wasn’t the same anymore—not without the magic.

So this year, they were content to make the magic come to life for their little sisters and stand behind their mom, who would not let go of the Christmas magic, no matter how old they got. It’s a strange time in adolescence when you are forced to give up childish things and realize that you’ve been lied to—un-maliciously, of course—for so long. Maybe, they thought, it was just a rite of passage or a cruel trick to not be allowed to believe in Santa forever. What else could be a lie? It is only safe to assume that children wonder this as well.

Those who believe… receive!

Was it really fair to pretend to believe in something for personal gain? It would be like being friends with someone at school simply because they had something to offer. Was their mom telling them this as a threat? The girls didn’t believe they would be left with nothing but a stocking full of coal simply because they had stumbled across the truth.

The question beckoned them, and so on a cool and quiet evening, the older girls decided to understand.

“Mom, if I don’t believe in Santa, will you really not buy me a present?” The teens snickered in the background. Mom catered to her coffee pot, never looked up, and said, “I don’t buy the presents… Santa does.”

The older girls realized this would be harder than they thought and pressed on. Do you really want us to believe that there is such a thing as reindeer that fly around the world and deliver presents? Do you really think I can believe in a fat man, elves, the North Pole, and Frosty the Snowman? Really, Mom… do you want me to be the laughing stock of the entire 8th grade? Wouldn’t it be easier for you if you could stop pretending for our sake? We would never tell our sisters.”

It seemed like a long pause, and the only sound was the clink of the spoon hitting the side of the coffee mug as she twirled her creamer. Then, with a single tear in her eye, she spoke…

“Those who believe, receive! Not just at Christmas, and not just presents, but also happiness, my dears! You have to believe in magic for it to exist. Even when every fiber of your common sense tells you otherwise, you have to believe that things unseen truly do exist. That magic, and love, and peace, and joy, and gratitude, and hope exist. That is what Christmas magic is about. You believe in God, but you have never SEEN Him with your eyes. You have to believe in the goodwill of men, although more things in this world beg you not to. You have to believe that all will be well, even when it doesn’t feel like they will. You don’t have to believe in Santa, but should you choose to— you can recreate the magic of Christmas for yourself and RECEIVE the magic in return.”

“Believing is for YOU, not for me or for your little sisters. Learning to believe in magic, and in the good in life, is YOUR gift to receive, should you choose to accept it—here at Christmas and always. Because you always have a choice to believe!”

She took a sip of her coffee, the aroma of freshly ground beans wafting through the air, and she said, “Believing makes it so! It REALLY is that simple!”

It was then and there that they realized they had just received the best gift of Christmas, of life, that they could ever behold. And they believed.

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Easter Mass represents both the symbolic traditions that people have come to accept as fact and serves as an emotional and spiritual awakening. However, it is impossible to have an awakening without at least a question. How can one awaken if they were never “asleep,” so to speak, or off-center about their spiritual beliefs?

The Spiritual Journey and Awakening

When experiencing Easter or Easter Mass in the face of tragedy, or in the wake of a loved one’s death, it can be a stirring time when the soul asks questions about its relevance to the process and the Spirit’s true indignation toward it. Few people readily admit when they are experiencing a time of spiritual crisis or religious questioning. Unfortunately, this is often the case, even though almost all of us go through it, regardless of our denomination or lack thereof.

A spiritual crisis can either lead a person back to Easter Mass or away from it. What is important is that the spiritual journey never concludes. Just like with every other aspect of our lives, the instant we stop learning and growing is the instant we stop truly experiencing life.

As children, we are taught many versions of a basic truth: Good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people. It simply is, and we are not truly in control of such things, which is why we have faith in a higher power. Our faith can be so strong, and yet seem so fragile. Even as adults, when our crisis of spirit and our crisis of life seem overwhelmingly unfair, can Easter Mass really bring us to spiritual enlightenment?

Well, yes, it can, and no, it can’t. Spiritual enlightenment is not a single, mind-blowing flash of light that changes our perceptions forever, after which we can close the book because we now know everything there is to know. Spiritual enlightenment is a perpetual journey that guides us both closer to and farther from God. Much like how we distance ourselves from our parents during adolescence to form our own identity, we must struggle with our beliefs to truly call them our own. In most cases, we inherit our beliefs from our parents, and it is often much later in life that we truly question the basis of those beliefs. What does this have to do with Easter Mass? Everything.

Easter Mass has always been—and always will be—considered one of the most spiritual events known to humanity. Even non-Catholics can sense an energy from Easter Mass, an energy that can only be described as spiritual in nature. It is always a little more likely to experience moments of spiritual growth during the most intense spiritual traditions, though they can also happen while taking a shower or brushing your teeth. Still, the stage is more or less set for awakenings of spiritual proportions on Easter Sunday.

The choir is just a little more in tune, the lighting of the candles takes a moment longer with a little more thought, people who typically show up in jeans dress in their actual Sunday best, and, of course, the sermon is ignited with papal flair. Whether you are wandering back from a spiritual journey that sparked a thirst for greater knowledge or are conflicted with questions that reflect the very essence of who and what we are, spiritual knowledge can be gained by simply opening yourself to the possibilities right in front of you. Be kind to yourself, recognize your spirit’s desires, and allow it to be guided. Perhaps this upcoming Easter Mass will provide you with the right motivation to hear the answers you seek.

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What exactly makes it so exciting? Is it the thrill of turning a year older? Is it the hope of receiving that very special present? Or is it the excitement of having that one special person who has promised to come to the party?

The Origins of Birthday Traditions

Birthday parties actually began with a superstition. The idea was that bad spirits focused heavily on the child with a birthday, and the more people who could be around them that day, the more protection they would have. An entire village could show up for one birthday. People would stay throughout the day, offering the birthday boy or girl the very best wishes and blessings. An actual gift brought more blessings than just words, and, of course, the hosting family would feed their visitors “cake,” which was really nothing more than biscuits and bread back then.

This was the beginning of the birthday party, a wonderful tradition we now bestow upon each other to celebrate the fact that someone was even born. Sometimes, we like to make a big deal out of age milestones, giving special importance to certain ages. Eighteenth birthdays, for instance, often come with huge celebrations for obvious reasons.

The tradition started with royalty, acknowledging that they alone were worthy of protection, gifts, and well-wishing. The rest of the kingdom, however, was left unprotected from the elusive bad spirits. There’s no documentation on who the first villager was to receive birthday protection or why the tradition trickled down to the villagers, but it is assumed that this is how we ended up with the “crowning” of the birthday child for the day. Perhaps a wise king realized that leaving his people unprotected might result in a kingdom left to ruin. Maybe there was a plague or a war at the time—who knows? What we do know for sure is that the royals enjoyed the honor of birthday protection for hundreds of years before the villagers were allowed to partake in the tradition.

Germany was the first country to acknowledge children’s birthday parties. They appropriately referred to them as kinder fests, and the celebrations were known to go on for nearly the entire day. This was, of course, during a time when families were much larger for the sake of survival. With most families having between five and eight children, and villages comprised of about one hundred to two hundred families, there was plenty of celebrating to go around.

Birthday traditions continued to evolve, and many of them are still similar to typical American birthdays with cake, candles, birthday songs, presents, and parties. Some countries even add a special Mass in the child’s honor.

Unique Birthday Traditions Around the World
There are several countries with notable traditions for their birthday children. In Vietnam, for example, birthdays are celebrated all at once on New Year’s Day. Regardless of when a child is born, they are considered to be one year old on the first day of the New Year.

Russian children receive pies rather than cakes, and South African kids are given a key—fashioned out of almost anything—to symbolize that they are ready to open the door to their future on their twenty-first birthday. In Nepal, children receive a special mark on their forehead to celebrate their birthday. Meanwhile, in Panama, children’s birthday parties are very similar to those in the United States, except for one thing: size. Panamanians often throw birthday parties with over 100 guests.

Many countries also observe the “birthday bumping” custom. This involves lifting the child upside down and gently “bumping” them against the floor. Naturally, they get one “bump” for each year they’ve lived, plus one extra for good luck.

In Canada, children are sneaked up on, grabbed, and have their nose greased with butter in an attempt to make them too slippery for the bad spirits to catch and ruin their day.

Birthday traditions vary widely around the world, and often families develop their own customs as well. One newer tradition is sending online greeting cards, allowing people to connect and celebrate in a more digital age. Personalizing traditions—even if it’s as simple as letting the birthday child choose their favorite meal for dinner—emphasizes how special and unique we all are, and how important it is to recognize that we came into the world and are here. Birthdays are special and should reflect the excitement of life brewing all around us. This is a feeling shared worldwide, as birthday celebrations are held all over the globe.

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The Diversity of December Celebrations

December’s vast array of holidays is clear evidence of the extreme diversity within the United States and Canada. Nearly every major (and even some minor) religious affiliation has at least one holiday during this month. If you opted to celebrate them all, you could almost guarantee some form of celebration each day of December.

Some believe that winter solstice celebrations were created by Satan due to their roots in Paganism. However, Paganism has its origins in nature, not the Devil.

In ancient times, when life completely depended on the sun and the ability to grow food, the declining sunlight signaled the onset of cold and dark days. People feared the possibility of starvation if they didn’t plan appropriately. The elderly, to spare their families from consuming the limited food stores, would sometimes wander off to die. Clans and tribes would have nothing but hope that the darkness and cold wouldn’t last forever. The winter solstice became vital for morale, and as soon as people saw the slowly returning daylight, celebrations began. This typically happened within the first few days of the solstice.

Winter solstice celebrations usually occurred around December 25th, which is still connected to our modern-day Christmas celebrations. Ancient tribes and clans would feast and exchange gifts made during the long, cold winter months. It would be later that trees were decorated, and candles symbolized eternal life.

The winter solstice typically falls on December 21st or 22nd, but the exact time fluctuates each year. The winter solstice is acknowledged in almost every denomination and in many countries. Those in the Southern Hemisphere view the winter solstice as their summer solstice, and six months later, when the Northern Hemisphere celebrates the summer solstice, the roles are reversed.

The Romans once referred to this holiday as the “Birthday of the Unconquered Sun,” creating a celebration around children, new life, and new hope. The festival grew into a gigantic celebration, with towns, villages, and homes participating. Feasts were shared with slaves, who were allowed to speak and act freely for one day.

Mummer traditions, where individuals mask themselves and parade around visiting friends and relatives, were developed. This tradition continues today, especially in Newfoundland and with the Mummer’s Parade on New Year’s Day in the United States.

Despite attempts by religious organizations to suppress it, the winter solstice eventually became the center of numerous religious holidays, and many original Pagan traditions were incorporated. In England and the early United States, both Christmas and winter solstice celebrations were banned for a time, as they were seen as anti-religious. However, this ban didn’t last long, and once lifted, the holidays took on less of a religious form and more of a worldly or secular nature.

For most Americans, the winter solstice is a day like any other. There is very little celebration tied to this day. However, despite the lack of major festivities, the day still brings lightened hearts, as everyone knows the days will begin to lengthen, and the darkness will soon fade as the sun returns. Though definitely worth celebrating, most traditional celebrations are conducted during the Christmas holiday.

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