Halls, houses, and lawns are decked with festive decorations. Kitchens are filled with delightful, savory aromas. The air is laced with laughter, familiar music, and the tinkling of Salvation Army bells.

The holiday spirit is everywhere.

But underneath the bright lights, smiles, and cheerful greetings lurks the unseen warehouse of holiday expectations. Somehow, we must top last year, and the year before that. This season must be bigger, better, more colorful, and more delicious. We must somehow make this holiday the best ever.

We have expectations. We have ideas of how this should go, what should happen, and when.

We have expectations of others. Others have expectation of us. We have expectations of ourselves based on what we think others’ expectations are.

Even our culture has expectations. Have the appropriate holiday spirit. Engage in holiday cheer. Fa-la-la-la-la, and all that. Be happy! And above all, buy, buy, buy.

The pressure mounts.

What if we’re not in the mood? What if we’re sad? What if we’ve lost a loved one (or several)? What if we’re depressed?

Holidays are times for reminiscing. Memories of what we once had swim before our eyes. We become hyper-aware of who and what we’ve lost.

Amid the smiling faces, there are wounded hearts.

Grief is lonely thing. Surrounded by gaiety, a broken heart can feel more alone and isolated than ever. No one wants to hurt for the holidays, but some of us do.

If you’re hurting these holidays, what can you do?

Here are three tips for navigating this stressful and emotionally confusing time.

1. Manage those expectations.

One question to ask yourself might be, “Exactly whose game am I playing here?”

Instead of plowing ahead as usual, pause and take a good look at your expectations and plans. What do you want this holiday to be like? What’s honestly possible and realistic? What do you want to do, how, when, and with whom?

This is the season of overwhelm. Take a deep breath and choose to focus on a few things. What’s most important? In your mind, what’s non-negotiable?

Along the way it might be good to let those close to you know you’re doing things differently this year. This will help manage their expectations too.

2. Make a simple plan to remember loved ones who’ve passed on.

Acknowledge the elephant in the room. Speak their name. Talk about them. Share their story. Invite others to share a special memory or what they miss most.

Holidays are a wonderful time to honor the special people who now reside in our hearts rather than next to us.

3. Be kind to yourself.

You can do more than merely survive. Take your heart and health seriously. Pace yourself. Exercise. Get good nutrition. Hydrate. Rest. Pursue wellness.

If you love yourself well through this time, that love will spill over onto family and friends as well. The best gift you can give them is a healthy you.

Watch those expectations. Decide what’s most important and focus there. Simplify. Honor loved ones who are no longer here. Be kind to yourself along the way.

These holidays might be tough and stressful, but they can still be good. Take your heart seriously and make it so.

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My oldest daughter found out early. She was around six or seven when a well-meaning friend mentioned that she had discovered the Tooth Fairy was fake at a young age, all while my daughter, unbeknownst to us, was standing in the room behind us. My daughter looked at me in disbelief, and we both started crying as her innocence was shattered prematurely. My friend, to her credit, couldn’t stop apologizing for revealing the truth.

The Heartache of Growing Up

My middle daughter was around nine when she found out, courtesy of my firstborn. She was completely unfazed and moved on without any ill feelings. Her indifference was oddly comforting to me.

Now, my youngest—who’s currently 10—began getting suspicious this year after hearing “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” on the car radio. I glanced at her face in the rearview mirror and saw the wheels turning. She asked if Santa was really Daddy, and before I could respond, she declared, “Yes, that must be it.” Then, she accused my husband and me of buying and bringing the gifts on Christmas Eve.

And thus began my moral dilemma. Of course, she was right, and I had spent her entire life enforcing the idea that honesty is the best policy—always tell the truth, never lie. But innocence fades so quickly, especially in our social media-obsessed world, where everyone knows everything, whether they want to or not. And she’s my youngest. Her knowing the truth would sadly mark the end of an era—my kids being kids, none the wiser.

Instead of admitting that she was correct, I chickened out and changed the subject. I’m just not ready to burst her bubble. Maybe she senses that and doesn’t want to burst mine either by telling me that she already knows the truth. Her sisters get upset with me and urge me to set her straight, simply because they’re tired of living the charade themselves. I tell them to hush and threaten them with punishment if they ever let the cat out of the bag.

To make matters worse, my husband and I frequently go out “Christmas shopping” now that my teenager is old enough to babysit. In reality, we just go on dates with each other, but my youngest has asked about this, too. She wonders why we need to go shopping if Santa’s the one who delivers the gifts. I respond with yet another falsehood, claiming that Santa brings some gifts while we give others. Lies, lies, lies. There’s a large box of presents in my closet that I’ve told the kids to stay away from, which only makes things more confusing for my daughter.

I’m guessing this will be the last year of this charade. I’m pretty sure she’s figured it out, and soon she’ll start asking about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I imagine I’ll break down and admit the truth sooner rather than later. The mix of sadness, guilt, and wistfulness will flood me for the third time in my parenting life. I hope she’s easy on me when it happens. After I come clean, I’ll tell her what I told my other two daughters.

Santa is real. No, not the guy who miraculously travels the world in one night delivering gifts to millions of kids, but the concept of Santa is alive and well. The reason we’re really here is to serve and love. It’s all about giving, not getting. They call it the most wonderful time of the year for a reason. We’re all idealists in December, filled with hope, positivity, and enthusiasm for all that’s good in the world. If we’ve had a hard year, it’s almost over, ending in the warm glow of Christmas cheer and preparing us for the fresh start ahead.

It’s okay to believe in fantasies. From the time our kids are little, we enrich their lives with them—princesses, fairy tales, dragon slayers. We do everything we can to stimulate their imaginations and let creativity run wild. Why stop at Santa and his fellow holiday mascots? Daydreaming and fantasizing can make life more bearable, especially when things get tough. I say we encourage those things.

As for my youngest daughter, I’ll let her decide when she no longer believes. I certainly won’t be the one to sit her down and say, “We’ve lied to you all along. It’s time to grow up and face reality.” As for you and your kids? Only you can decide when the time is right to tell your kids about Santa. And only you can decide how to explain why you didn’t tell them earlier. I hope every child understands that their parents always have their best interests at heart, even when it involves little lies.

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The Pressure of the Christmas Wish List

Of course, the Christmas wish list is very important! It gives parents a chance to see what their children would be happy to receive on the big day. The problem, however, is that many kids hope—or even expect—that they’ll receive every single item they’ve listed. Little do they know that Mom and Dad are simply trying to figure out how to afford at least some of what they want and are hoping they can prioritize and purchase the gifts their children most want. Oh, the stress of it all!

When kids are young, dolls, baseball gloves, toy guns, soccer balls, Nerf guns, etc., are typically within the range of “Santa’s” budget. But starting around age seven, the “wish lists” begin to be enough to give Mom and Dad a stroke! The Legos they put on their Christmas list a few years ago were a mere $29. Now, that just won’t cut it. This time around, they want the 31313 LEGO Mindstorms EV3, which just happens to cost over $300.

Luckily for you, your wonderful daughter (a tomboy, aged 10) said she’d be happy with that, since the PlayStation 4 she really wants is even more expensive. When you remind her how pricey her choices are, she says they really aren’t… since they don’t cost anything, because Santa will bring them!

Touché.

That’s the major problem with allowing your kids to “believe.” We want to give them the best childhood we can by letting the fantasy of Santa, the elves, and all the magic live on. But man, it costs a pretty penny to do so! Gone are the days when kids were happy with an orange and a few pennies in their stocking on Christmas morning. Kids these days have sophisticated tastes, and they’re not afraid to ask for the world.

The world we live in today is much more of an “indoor” one. We’d rather sit inside and stare at screens than spend time in the great outdoors. Unfortunately, screens cost an arm and a leg, and they become outdated almost as fast as we acquire them. Kids spend so much time on phones, tablets, TVs, e-readers, and handheld gaming devices that they rarely ask for much else on their Christmas wish list. $$$!!!

Is it not time to let kids know that sometimes, Santa is facing a recession, or that their choices are simply insane?! Asking for $300+ gifts is just plain nuts! I think it would be great if Santa would put out a press release and let the world (and especially our greedy little monsters) know that this year—and possibly every year for the next decade or so—Santa’s facing hard times. Due to layoffs, binding arbitration with Rudolph and the other moneygrubbing reindeer, increased sick day pay to the elves, etc., Santa can’t deliver like he used to. Alas, the wish list needs to become more realistic.

But how do we make our children understand that the mythical, magical man in the red suit has fallen on hard times? Isn’t the entire point of the Santa “fantasy” that by being good, we can have everything we want in life? How do you explain to a child that despite all their hard work toward being a fine, upstanding citizen, Santa just can’t reward them the way he’s supposed to? What’s a parent to do?

Keeping “the secret” while also being practical and sensible is a balancing act every family has to navigate. Kids are only young for what seems like a few short minutes in the grand scheme of things, and we want them to believe. But we also don’t want them to become greedy, shallow, materialistic consumers who think the purpose of life is acquiring every shiny new thing that catches their eye. This is especially true considering that most kids lose interest in their Christmas gifts a few months—or even weeks—after the season has passed. Nothing is more frustrating to a hardworking parent than seeing all those expensive gifts flung into a forgotten pile before their shine has even worn off.

Christmas should be a joyous time. However, thanks to advertising by big corporations, it has become extremely expensive and is slowly depleting Santa’s collective bank account. Though it may not help Santa this year, perhaps he should just give free Netflix to all the Moms and Dads of the world. This would ensure our wonderful children won’t see ads for things that “Santa’s Helpers” can’t afford next year. Perhaps he could throw in some ad blockers for the computer while he’s at it!

In the end, just remember that playing Santa is a relatively short phase in your life, and you’ll be sad when it’s finally over. Once your kids “find out,” they become a little more cynical and a little less enamored with the Christmas season. Yes, Christmases during your children’s younger years may practically break the bank, but one day soon you’ll miss perusing those scribbled Christmas wish lists. Your moody older children will make you long for their earlier days of wide-eyed wonder when everything seemed possible to them, and they truly believed they could have the world itself if they just asked Santa for it. And that innocent attitude? It’s priceless.

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Sure, if you’re a child, Christmas is magical. You write a list to send to Santa and simply wait for him to bring you all that your heart desires. But for adults, this time of year can be one huge stress bomb. So many elements go into orchestrating “the perfect Christmas,” all of which conspire to create a toxic mixture of anxiety and exhaustion.

Handling the Christmas Chaos

It might not be so bad if you’re the planning type. Organized people may actually enjoy the challenges presented by this festive season. Writing up and crossing off one task after another on a mile-long to-do list is an absolute dream for some. These folks are usually the first to send out their Christmas cards each year. But for most people, pulling off the perfect holiday can be downright nightmarish.

If you’re like me, you thrive on the last minute. I do my best work when I have a deadline and the seconds are ticking away on the clock. But for such an incredibly busy time as Christmas, this personality trait can practically guarantee disaster.

First come the decorations. I don’t personally enjoy dragging six million bins full of ornaments and baubles down from the attic. And I never have the courtesy to pack everything up in a sensible manner after the prior Christmas has become a thing of the past. Therefore, hours are spent sorting through everything and trying to organize it all before displaying it in and on my house. At least I do play Christmas music and drink cocoa while decorating, so that does take a little bit of the sting out of it.

Then come all the parties. I’m not complaining about being invited to Christmas parties, of course, but attending too many of them can be quite stressful. Finding a fancy dress, booking a babysitter, driving to and fro, conversing with other partygoers… it can be too much at times. And throwing my own Christmas party? Forget it. That would send me over the edge without a doubt!

And what about the Christmas cookies? Oy. Not only do you feel compelled to bake so very many batches, but for some reason, we become possessed with the desire to box them up and hand them out to all our neighbors. Funny thing is, they’re baking their own cookies and handing them out as well. Strange ritual.

The very worst is waiting until the last minute to buy presents and… even later to wrap them! My husband and I have cursed ourselves more than once for putting this tedious task off. No one wants to stay up until 3 AM the night before Christmas trying to wrangle every amorphously-shaped gift into cumbersome wrapping paper. The finished product of the gifts we wrap would make Martha Stewart clutch her pearls. We toss them under the tree, take a picture of the scene for posterity’s sake, and stumble up to bed, only to be woken by three very anxious and excited children four short hours later. All the coffee in the world can’t help us perk up in time to watch our girls shred and peel the paper off the gifts that were paperless just hours before.

While we’re on the subject of gifts, the pressure to buy the perfect presents for our girls seems to increase with each passing year. As they get older, their wish lists seem to grow longer, more sophisticated, and very much more expensive. The teenager wants this brand and that. To review her wish list, you would think she believes that she was born into the Rockefeller family. The younger two have equally pricey requests. No longer are stuffed animals and board games acceptable—they want electronics. Anything that plugs into the wall and costs three digits is satisfactory for those two. My husband and I have actually forfeited our wish lists in the past few years in order to free up more funds to purchase our daughters’ gifts!

The Christmas stress doesn’t end there. Once all the gifts are unwrapped and distributed to each respective girl’s room, it’s time to clean up the mess and prepare for our extended family to come over for Christmas dinner. We’re not talking about hamburgers and hot dogs served on paper plates, either—Christmas dinner is “supposed” to be “special.” The same amount of work that goes into Thanksgiving dinner also goes into Christmas dinner, except that Christmas morning was crazy busy, and we’re surviving on just a few hours of sleep. To me, Christmas dinner is the most stressful part of Christmas. We have the biggest house of all our family members, so we almost always have to host. Sigh.

Now that I’m an adult, I actually enjoy December 26^th more than December 25^th, and here’s why. It’s all over. The cookies, the parties, the buying, the wrapping, the giving, the cleaning, the cooking, the hosting. All. Over. There is no more relaxing day of the year than December 26^th. Some OCD people use that day to tear down and store their decorations, but not me. I leave them up until January 2^nd. That means I have over a week to chill after the pressure of the Christmas season has come to an end. I love that week and look forward to it for the entire month of December.

In fact, New Year’s Eve has become my new favorite holiday. My family has a ritual that I’ve come to enjoy thoroughly. We go to the supermarket, buy a ton of junk food (and a few adult beverages), come home, change into our pajamas, watch TV, and gorge ourselves until the new year arrives. No one is invited to this “party” of ours, and the pressure is totally off. I love it.

Our pursuit of perfection causes us to nearly buckle under self-inflicted holiday pressure each year around this time. It would serve us well to pause and reflect on why we do this to ourselves. I’m sure our kids, friends, neighbors, and family members wouldn’t notice, or even care, if we cut some of the craziness out. Perhaps next year, I’ll treat Christmas a little more like New Year’s and just sit back and enjoy it instead of stressing out so much. Maybe that truly is the secret to making this the most wonderful time of year.

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The older girls, at 14, were too old now for what they saw as “childish things,” yet they wished, somehow, from the depths of their hearts, that they could travel back in time and be 4 again—just so they could still believe. So they could grab the candy cane and feel the electricity of Santa’s hand touching theirs.

Their mom still put out reindeer food each and every Christmas Eve, still forced them to spend a day baking cookies to leave out for Santa (that always seemed to get burnt), and did her best to hide the presents and the worried look on her face about how she was going to afford Christmas for all these kids. She never came right out and told them that Santa didn’t exist, but they knew. In fourth grade, one of the obnoxious kids at school started blurting out insults to anyone who still believed. He was a magic thief, rebelling against the fact that someone had already ruined it for him. Like most things kids find out too soon, the knowing was accidental.

When they asked about it that night, Mom told them he was real, but they noticed the redness in her face that said she was lying. Even though the subject never came up again, and the little elf named Cassandra—who had been wreaking mischief on their home since they were toddlers—still came back every year, they knew that the magic and hubbub of Christmas was nothing more than a lie.

The Gift of Belief

So this year, they would live through their two younger siblings. They were the lucky ones. They had a 4-year-old and a 9-year-old in the home, which meant they still got to visit Santa at the mall. They still had to make wish lists and lick an envelope so that Mom could pretend to mail them to the North Pole. Sure, they pouted and acted like it was a chore, but deep down, it kept a little bit of the magic alive for them.

They still got to sip stifling hot chocolate loaded with gooey marshmallows on Christmas Eve and never knew what they would be getting under the tree on Christmas morning. They still would be forced to have their picture taken with Santa, just as they did every year since they were one year old. They liked Christmas enough, but it certainly wasn’t the same anymore—not without the magic.

So this year, they were content to make the magic come to life for their little sisters and stand behind their mom, who would not let go of the Christmas magic, no matter how old they got. It’s a strange time in adolescence when you are forced to give up childish things and realize that you’ve been lied to—un-maliciously, of course—for so long. Maybe, they thought, it was just a rite of passage or a cruel trick to not be allowed to believe in Santa forever. What else could be a lie? It is only safe to assume that children wonder this as well.

Those who believe… receive!

Was it really fair to pretend to believe in something for personal gain? It would be like being friends with someone at school simply because they had something to offer. Was their mom telling them this as a threat? The girls didn’t believe they would be left with nothing but a stocking full of coal simply because they had stumbled across the truth.

The question beckoned them, and so on a cool and quiet evening, the older girls decided to understand.

“Mom, if I don’t believe in Santa, will you really not buy me a present?” The teens snickered in the background. Mom catered to her coffee pot, never looked up, and said, “I don’t buy the presents… Santa does.”

The older girls realized this would be harder than they thought and pressed on. Do you really want us to believe that there is such a thing as reindeer that fly around the world and deliver presents? Do you really think I can believe in a fat man, elves, the North Pole, and Frosty the Snowman? Really, Mom… do you want me to be the laughing stock of the entire 8th grade? Wouldn’t it be easier for you if you could stop pretending for our sake? We would never tell our sisters.”

It seemed like a long pause, and the only sound was the clink of the spoon hitting the side of the coffee mug as she twirled her creamer. Then, with a single tear in her eye, she spoke…

“Those who believe, receive! Not just at Christmas, and not just presents, but also happiness, my dears! You have to believe in magic for it to exist. Even when every fiber of your common sense tells you otherwise, you have to believe that things unseen truly do exist. That magic, and love, and peace, and joy, and gratitude, and hope exist. That is what Christmas magic is about. You believe in God, but you have never SEEN Him with your eyes. You have to believe in the goodwill of men, although more things in this world beg you not to. You have to believe that all will be well, even when it doesn’t feel like they will. You don’t have to believe in Santa, but should you choose to— you can recreate the magic of Christmas for yourself and RECEIVE the magic in return.”

“Believing is for YOU, not for me or for your little sisters. Learning to believe in magic, and in the good in life, is YOUR gift to receive, should you choose to accept it—here at Christmas and always. Because you always have a choice to believe!”

She took a sip of her coffee, the aroma of freshly ground beans wafting through the air, and she said, “Believing makes it so! It REALLY is that simple!”

It was then and there that they realized they had just received the best gift of Christmas, of life, that they could ever behold. And they believed.

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The Diversity of December Celebrations

December’s vast array of holidays is clear evidence of the extreme diversity within the United States and Canada. Nearly every major (and even some minor) religious affiliation has at least one holiday during this month. If you opted to celebrate them all, you could almost guarantee some form of celebration each day of December.

Some believe that winter solstice celebrations were created by Satan due to their roots in Paganism. However, Paganism has its origins in nature, not the Devil.

In ancient times, when life completely depended on the sun and the ability to grow food, the declining sunlight signaled the onset of cold and dark days. People feared the possibility of starvation if they didn’t plan appropriately. The elderly, to spare their families from consuming the limited food stores, would sometimes wander off to die. Clans and tribes would have nothing but hope that the darkness and cold wouldn’t last forever. The winter solstice became vital for morale, and as soon as people saw the slowly returning daylight, celebrations began. This typically happened within the first few days of the solstice.

Winter solstice celebrations usually occurred around December 25th, which is still connected to our modern-day Christmas celebrations. Ancient tribes and clans would feast and exchange gifts made during the long, cold winter months. It would be later that trees were decorated, and candles symbolized eternal life.

The winter solstice typically falls on December 21st or 22nd, but the exact time fluctuates each year. The winter solstice is acknowledged in almost every denomination and in many countries. Those in the Southern Hemisphere view the winter solstice as their summer solstice, and six months later, when the Northern Hemisphere celebrates the summer solstice, the roles are reversed.

The Romans once referred to this holiday as the “Birthday of the Unconquered Sun,” creating a celebration around children, new life, and new hope. The festival grew into a gigantic celebration, with towns, villages, and homes participating. Feasts were shared with slaves, who were allowed to speak and act freely for one day.

Mummer traditions, where individuals mask themselves and parade around visiting friends and relatives, were developed. This tradition continues today, especially in Newfoundland and with the Mummer’s Parade on New Year’s Day in the United States.

Despite attempts by religious organizations to suppress it, the winter solstice eventually became the center of numerous religious holidays, and many original Pagan traditions were incorporated. In England and the early United States, both Christmas and winter solstice celebrations were banned for a time, as they were seen as anti-religious. However, this ban didn’t last long, and once lifted, the holidays took on less of a religious form and more of a worldly or secular nature.

For most Americans, the winter solstice is a day like any other. There is very little celebration tied to this day. However, despite the lack of major festivities, the day still brings lightened hearts, as everyone knows the days will begin to lengthen, and the darkness will soon fade as the sun returns. Though definitely worth celebrating, most traditional celebrations are conducted during the Christmas holiday.

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I was certainly one of those Americans until recently, when Boxing Day was explained to me in detail. It has nothing to do with two men slugging it out in a ring in front of a boisterous crowd. There are disputed origins of the holiday, and many theories about its beginnings. Most people simply accept that it is a day to recognize those who have helped throughout the year.

The Origins of Boxing Day

Boxing Day may have actually begun in the Middle Ages, as a sort of “Christmas Day” for the servants who had been expected to work for their employers on Christmas Day. After fulfilling their work obligations, they were given the following day off to spend with their families and enjoy their own holiday.

Before leaving their place of servitude, the servants were presented with gift boxes by their employers as a gesture of gratitude for their ongoing service. And thus, Boxing Day was born. Other theories suggest that the servants were sent with boxes of leftover Christmas dinner, while some claim that the servants would arrive at their employers’ homes on December 26th carrying a box, which their employers would then fill with coins, food, and small gifts.

One more abstract theory suggests that during medieval times, a wren was captured and placed in a box. A young boy would then take the wren from house to house in the village, so the villagers could ask the wren whether they would have a good harvest that year. Despite the confusing origins, Boxing Day still holds its place on the calendar and has nothing to do with two men slugging it out inside a roped-off ring.

Boxing Day is widely celebrated throughout Canada, England, and English-speaking colonies. It is equivalent to the American legal holidays, which the English and Canadians call “Banking holidays.” This term refers to the closure of banks, government offices, schools, and the post office, although not all businesses close for Boxing Day.

The Feast of St. Stephen shares the spotlight with Boxing Day. St. Stephen was a martyr and one of the original seven deacons in the Christian Church. The seven deacons had been ordained by the Apostles to care for widows, the elderly, the poor, and those who were mentally or physically ill. There is some speculation that it is no accident that these two days fall on the same date, as the servants were entitled to a day off, and it is possible that they were given the day closest to Christmas that was already considered a holiday. Again, this is pure speculation.

There is an interesting link between Boxing Day and the Feast of St. Stephen that many historians attribute to the relieving of the servants. Historically, December 26th is the day when the poor boxes in churches were opened, and their contents were distributed among the poor. However, very few historians believe that Boxing Day’s origins are linked to this poor box distribution, although a few do.

Boxing Day Today

Boxing Day has survived all this time, although the practice of employing servants has largely disappeared. While some people still hire individuals to tend their gardens or clean their homes, we no longer typically employ “servants.” Today, the holiday tradition extends to people who hold positions of public service, such as mail carriers, tradespeople, doormen, law enforcement, firefighters, and anyone else who has been helpful throughout the year.

The United Kingdom has elevated Boxing Day to such importance that it now extends into a week-long celebration, though many people attribute this extended duration to the high retail sales that can be achieved. In most countries that celebrate Boxing Day, the sales are quite profitable for retailers.

Boxing Day, regardless of its origin or its retail potential, remains a day set aside for recognizing those who consistently use their talents to help others. It is a day to simply say, “Thank you.”

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Eventually, the nativity scene stopped making its annual appearance. I was never really sure why. Some of the pieces had been chipped over time, and there was an overall faded quality to them, but I thought, for the most part, they still looked good.

The Tradition and Meaning Behind the Nativity Scene

The nativity scene is one that is familiar to nearly everyone, even those who don’t celebrate Christmas. Figurines of Mary and Joseph, usually accompanied by a baby Jesus placed in a manger, sit stoically inside a stable. Three wise men look on, and ours came with a host of barnyard animals and an angel overseeing everything.

Our figures were made to mimic pewter, but they come in just about any medium, from glass to plastic, wood, or ceramic. I used to get in trouble for acting out the Christmas story with the figures. To this day, I’m not really convinced that it was all that blasphemous since I was only having them act out the birth of Jesus and didn’t venture into other areas of playacting.

Either way, the figures were considered sacred, and my playacting days were swiftly brought to a close. The term nativity actually means “the birthplace of,” so when we speak of the Nativity Scene, we are simply referring to the birthplace of Jesus. Of course, we know that the birthplace of Jesus was in Bethlehem, although he is also called Jesus of Nazareth.

According to the story, while Mary was indeed blessed with child through immaculate conception, there was no place for her to give birth to Jesus. Mary and Joseph had searched far and wide before finding the stable that would be the site of the miraculous birth. Critical atheists believe this could not have happened, as there was little to authenticate Mary’s story of innocence.

Despite the critics and skeptics, Christians believe that the wise men were guided by a star in the sky to find the child who was to become the King of the Jews. The wise men are believed to have entered Jerusalem in search of Jesus’ birthplace. The news was said to have struck fear into the heart of King Herod, who sent men to question all who might know where this child was born.

Shepherds in a nearby field were said to have received a visit from the angel of the Lord, who announced the birth of Jesus. Upon hearing of the promises Jesus could fulfill, the shepherds rushed to find the stable where the infant was born to witness his earthly presence.

Again, critics voice discomfort with this part of the story, claiming that angelic visitation is nothing more than a hallucination. It has been argued by critics and atheists alike that, by today’s standards, an angelic visitation would be considered either a lie, a plea for attention, or a sign of hallucinations caused by drugs or mental illness. So, the question arises: how can it be considered acceptable as fact from a time when there was little documentation or proof?

Defenders of the nativity story argue that it is true because there is concrete evidence for those who look for it. Some even believe that the remains of the Ark of the Covenant have been discovered and are waiting for the funds to begin an archaeological dig.

The nativity will forever have those who dismiss it as a fairy tale or legend, and those who embrace it as gospel. Cold, hard, irrefutable facts have yet to be unearthed, though the faithful will tell you that is exactly what makes faith what it is. There are aspects of faith that must be accepted as faith facts. Regardless of personal beliefs, the nativity scene is something that nearly everyone understands and enjoys, whether as a statement of faith or as a blessed fairy tale filled with hope.

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Whether you are a Christian or not, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, the energy of this time of year is palpable, no matter where your beliefs or traditions lie. Like our ancient ancestors who looked forward to all the greatness that was to come, we look to New Year’s and beyond with childlike hope and wonder, believing that things will be better and that we are given a second chance to live and to love. The warmth and festivity of the world seep into the hearts of people, helping them experience joy in ways that escape most of us during the regular rat race of life.

Embracing the Spirit of the Season

There are many theories about what the future holds for the world, but witnessing the magic of the Christmas season and the easy transition the world can make from being angry to being creatures of love shows that the meaning of Christmas is about leaving room to remember our divine purpose in this world. Sure, your mother-in-law and sister-in-law may drive you crazy, the kids may be unappreciative, and there will likely be familial tensions that bring us back to our own thwarted childhoods. But at the same time, we are living, breathing, and experiencing our worlds without hunger, war, poverty, illness, or restraint from accepting love.

The meaning of Christmas has changed over the years and is now viewed by many as a commercialized celebration, taken over by big business in hopes of revitalizing the economy. So be it. What it really seems to do, though, is revitalize the human spirit and soul. As we search for presents for loved ones and others, we are forced to walk in their world, in their shoes, for just a moment. It is then that we see a porcelain angel in the candy aisle and realize that this person is, in fact, an angel in our lives. The gift is bought, and the heart is sealed with remembrance and gratitude.

As we invite friends and family into our homes, we beam with pride for what we have. As we watch our families gather around the Christmas tree, there are fleeting feelings of being blessed in so many ways. As we prepare food for our bodies, we nourish our souls with togetherness and love. Watching a child walk through the snow with lights from store windows reflecting on their face is more priceless than any piece of art ever created. Allowing our bodies and minds to be conductors of love during this time of year has the power to unite humans like no other. So, whether or not the Wal-Marts and Barneys of the world are making a ton of money off our feeling pressured to buy and spend is a non-issue! Perhaps what they are doing is part of a bigger plan to unite, reunite, and renew our hearts and spirits with a kind of feeling that only comes once a year. Maybe mankind has gotten to a point where this is the only way we will truly figure out the meaning of Christmas in our own lives.

What if, instead of settling for this feeling only once a year, we decided to live every moment of every day in this light? As you wish those you love and those you don’t know a Merry Christmas, take a moment to reflect on the ultimate power your positive mood, emotions, and light have to change not just your own world, but the world around you. Because unequivocally, this is how we are intended to be!

Merry Christmas!

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According to a Gallup poll conducted in October 2011, the average shopper plans to spend $712 on Christmas gifts this year. Nearly one-quarter of the people polled said they plan to spend at least $1,000 on gifts, another quarter plans to spend between $500-$999, while one-third predict they will spend between $100 and $499. Very few of those contacted plan to spend less than $100, while 14 percent were unsure. Compare this to what people should be spending at Christmas. Conventional wisdom holds that the average person can typically afford to spend 1 percent of their income on presents. The average family earns about $63,000 per year and can afford to spend $630 on gifts. The Gallup poll estimate of $712 per family shows that, on average, the typical family will overspend by 13 percent.

It is clear from the statistics that this time of year, we spend more money than we can afford on our family and friends. We tend to do this naturally, despite the reality that overspending on Christmas presents impacts our financial situation well into the next year. We do this in part because we confuse wants with needs; the desire to bring joy to others temporarily outweighs our desire to be good to ourselves. The question isn’t what you want to give — because we all want our loved ones to have it all — the question is, what can you afford to spend?

Staying on Budget During the Holidays

The right amount to spend is what you can spend today, without compromising your own needs or the needs of your family. Bottom line: only buy gifts that you can immediately pay for. This means no credit card balances carrying into next year. It may seem like a daunting task, especially when you’re accustomed to giving big this time of year. Your heartstrings will tug when you look at your children’s letters to Santa and realize you won’t be able to get everyone everything they want. But in this tough economy, it is more important to stay focused on long-term financial goals than to get sidetracked by the short-term good feelings of splurging on Christmas presents.

Prepare yourself for Christmas shopping before you head to the mall or click on the computer. Make a list of who you are going to buy gifts for. This task will help you focus on the scope of shopping you need to do. Most of our lists start with immediate family and close friends, but be sure to remember your neighbors, teachers, and office gift exchanges, too.

As you make your list of people to buy for, consider a few potential ideas for each person. You may have the perfect present in mind, but even if you just have an outline of what might make a good present, this will help you while you’re searching for gifts.

Once you have an outline of who you need to buy for, you can now begin making a budget. Sit down and realistically calculate what you can comfortably spend on Christmas presents. Your budget represents the amount of money you will allow yourself to spend. Do research online and scan sales ads to ensure your budget is practical, then adjust your figures accordingly. If one item for a person with multiple ideas is clearly a budget buster, make the choice to get a less expensive item or cut back somewhere else.

When you are shopping, keep your list and budget in hand. This will help you resist the offers and promotions that may tempt you. Impulse shopping is difficult to pass up, which is why retailers will pull out all the stops to get your attention. A list will act like blinders, keeping you on the right path.

Constantly review your actual spending against your budget. For each item you purchase, update your budget. If you find you’ve overspent on one item, you will need to lower the spending on other items to make up the difference. On the other hand, if you save money on some items, this can free you up to spend more on other gifts. Keep this practice up throughout all your Christmas shopping, and you will be able to track your spending and stay on budget.

These suggestions will make a real difference in your enjoyment during the holiday season and beyond. This year, make a vow to be as good to yourself as you are to your loved ones. Take the time to prepare for Christmas shopping armed with a list of who to buy for and a realistic budget to match. Here’s to making overspending on Christmas presents a ghost of Christmas past!

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