When most people think of postpartum depression, they think of a lethargic new mother, hardly able to function, with possible thoughts of harming herself or her baby. While this can occur in a rare, but serious condition called postpartum psychosis occurring in approximately 0.089-2.6 of births in the United States, the majority of women experiencing postpartum depression typically present with more anxious symptoms. If these symptoms persist beyond two weeks postpartum, a period commonly referred to as the “baby blues,” postpartum depression must be ruled out.

The majority of new mothers that come to my practice present with difficulty sleeping (even when the baby is sleeping), crying easily, irritability, loss of interest, and being extremely concerned with being a “perfect” mother. Furthermore, anxious, looping thoughts are common as well as a constant feeling of being overwhelmed.

Some women are embarrassed or afraid of their intrusive thoughts and feel troubled by them, especially if they are experiencing scary thoughts about something bad happening to their baby. Many women fear that if they speak up about these thoughts, their baby will be taken from them even though they would never do anything to want to harm their baby. In fact, the desire to do everything so well, is creating its own anxiety.

Obsessions and compulsions can develop around housework, schedules and caring for the baby. Sadly, these mothers can greatly benefit from treatment for postpartum depression, but instead they suffer in silence, often experiencing a worsening of symptoms.

It is important to understand the difference between postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis. Women experiencing postpartum psychosis typically present with auditory or visual hallucinations, delusions, mania, insomnia, agitation, disorganized thinking, a flat affect, a detachment from reality.

Thoughts of self-harm and harm to the newborn can occur. Additionally, women who have a history of bipolar disorder, a major depressive disorder or schizophrenia are at a greater risk of developing postpartum psychosis. For this reason, it is imperative that women with a personal or family history of one of these conditions discuss a prevention plan with their doctor prior to giving birth.

There is good news and bad news. Unfortunately, because most women don’t realize that what they are experiencing classifies as postpartum depression, they do not seek help and therefore do not get treatment for it. The good news is that once postpartum depression is treated, symptoms typically improve relatively quickly.

Symptoms of postpartum depression include, but are not limited to:

• anger, irritability and mood swings
• loss of interest
• hopelessness
• anxiety
• restlessness
• panic attacks
• difficulty sleeping
• fatigue
• lack of concentration
• unwanted thoughts/repetitive thoughts

If you or someone you love is experiencing any of these symptoms, please know that good help is available. You cannot “think” your way out of postpartum depression and the longer it is left untreated, the worse the symptoms typically get.

This is especially the case when there is a chronic lack of sleep. Postpartum depression is not a weakness, a failure or a character flaw. It does not make someone a bad mother. Postpartum depression occurs for a variety of reasons that are well beyond a woman’s control. Most women report wishing they had sought treatment sooner once they began to feel better and more like themselves again.

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Girls’ Names

The most popular names for girls in North America include these ten, which typically rank at or near the top of all lists.
Emma – This name often tops the list for girls and means “whole” or “complete.”

Emily – Emily is the feminine form of the French name Emile, which means “industrious” or “hard-working.”

Sarah – Several meanings have been associated with this name. In the Bible, it is understood to mean “lady” or “princess.” Sarah was the wife of Abraham and the mother of Isaac. In Muslim tradition, “Sara” means “pure” and “happy.”

Madison – Originally a surname, Madison is derived from the name Matthew (meaning “gift” or “reward”) or Matilda (meaning “strong fighter”).

Hannah – In the Bible, Hannah was the mother of Samuel. The name means “gracious” and “merciful” or “God has favored me.”

Olivia – A variant of the name Olive, Olivia means “peace.”

Hailey – Originally used as a surname, Hailey has become quite popular as a first name. It means “field of hay.”

Ava – Ava is a variant of the name “Eve.” In the Bible, Eve is the first woman and the wife of Adam. The name means “breath” or “life.”

Kaitlyn – The name Kaitlyn is derived from Catherine, which means “pure.” This particular spelling is a modernized version of the traditional “Caitlin.”

Abigail – In the Bible, the wise and sensible Abigail married King David after the death of her first husband. The name means “father’s joy.”

Boys’ Names

The top ten boys’ names show more regional variation than girls’ names. Here are the names that appear most frequently. (Honorable mentions go to Jack, Benjamin, and Daniel.)
Ethan – Often topping the list for boys in recent years, Ethan means “strong,” “valiant,” and “constant.”

Matthew – In the Bible, Matthew was one of the twelve apostles of Jesus and the author of one of the gospels. The name means “gift” or “reward.”

Joshua – Joshua was the warrior who succeeded Moses and led the Israelites to the Promised Land. The name means “a savior” or “deliverer.”

Jacob – This name means “heel” or “one who supplants or undermines,” but the biblical Jacob eventually redeemed himself and became the father of the twelve tribes of Israel.

Nicholas – Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of children, sailors, and, oddly, pawnbrokers. He is best known as the basis for Santa Claus. The root of the name comes from the Greek word “Nike,” meaning “victory.” In Slavic cultures, Nikolas is associated with being a “victor” or “conqueror.”

Aidan – A popular Irish name, Aidan means “little fire” or “ardent.” The name originates from a 7th-century Irish monk named Aidan.

Ryan – This Gaelic name means “little king” and, in its Irish form, simply means “kingly.”

Logan – Logan is another Gaelic name, meaning “from the hollow.”

Noah – Recognized by many from the Bible, Noah was the famous ark builder. The name means “comfort” and “repose.”

Michael – This name is derived from the Biblical saint who defeated Satan and was charged with protecting Israel. Michael is the patron saint of soldiers.

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The Reality of Having Two Kids

But after a while, you forget about the lack of sleep and no longer pine for your childless days. When you reach this point, you may start considering having another baby. You figure that since you’ve acclimated to life with the first one, adding another won’t be a big deal. Think again, sister! Having two kids—especially if they’re close in age—is like nothing you can imagine. It’s not just two of everything… twice the work… party of four. It’s a whole different ball game. Adding a second child to the family is like signing yourself up for boot camp… by choice!

Do you remember how all-consuming having a newborn was? How they sucked the time and energy from every day of your life for months? Yeah… now add to that a cranky, potty-training toddler who throws tantrums fifteen times a day for reasons ranging from not being able to watch the same episode of The Wiggles over and over again to wanting you to buy every box of sugary cereal in the supermarket. And said heck-raiser just happens to wake your newborn every time he pitches a fit and also hates the new kid because he’s stealing all of your attention. Good times.

And how does producing more offspring affect your relationship with your husband? Well, get ready to miss him. If you’re like most couples, you’ll adopt a “divide and conquer” approach to parenting once you add a second child. Usually, Mom focuses on the baby while Dad takes over caring for the older child. More than likely, the kids won’t be on the same schedule, so your husband will be bathing Johnny while you’re doing everything in your power to get the tiny tot to sleep for five minutes in a row!

If you’re a stay-at-home mom—or dad, as the case may be—you don’t get the luxury of the “divide and conquer” model. You may be nursing the baby while simultaneously wiping your older child’s backside. Glamorous! All this while covered in spit-up and having not washed your hair for a week. The house remains in a constant state of disarray, and your spouse may survey the scene upon returning home from work and wonder what in the world you did all day!! Deep breaths.

If you choose to work outside the home, you get to enjoy a constant state of guilt. As nice as it is to focus on your career and talk to adults for eight hours a day, you feel like you’re missing some major milestones at home. Maybe you hired a nanny, or maybe your kids go to daycare. Either way, someone else is spending their time with your little darlings instead of you. It’s a strange experience.

And how about getting them ready for the day? Getting two kids ready instead of one is a lesson in patience, persistence, and hopeful wishes. Please let this be the day that the baby doesn’t have a blowout right after you dress him. And please let this be the day Johnny doesn’t freak out because he wants to wear his blue shoes instead of his red ones. The planets rarely align when trying to get two kids out of the house. It’s usually a pretty catastrophic experience, to say the least.

Your appearance also changes when you add a new baby to the family. Your Chanel suits find a new home at the back of your closet, and you invest any spare dollars in yoga pants. Your new favorite hairstyle is a ponytail, and makeup might become a thing of the past. You may or may not have old dried-up Cheerios stuck in your hair, and you may or may not care. Two kids force you into “mom mode,” at least for a little while. Self-preservation is the name of the game, and silly things like looking pretty are for the childless and empty-nesters. Don’t worry—no one’s looking at you anyway, with those two cuties in tow!

And all the gear. My goodness. Navigating a double stroller through the store requires a very steep learning curve. You’ll bruise a few ankles before you finally get it right. Or, you could wear the baby in a sling while pushing a single stroller…and the shopping cart. Good luck with that. Two car seats instead of just one? No problem. Just hope that your toddler waits patiently while you strap the baby in. And if not… just keep your eyes on the car while you chase Johnny across the parking lot.

Maybe you lucked out and spaced your kids far apart. That oldest child will be your loyal and faithful servant—whether she wants to be or not. Make her fetch the diapers, grab the binky, clean up the toys, and resent you forever. It’s nothing a little therapy can’t fix one day.

Don’t worry—it’s not all bad. You’re giving your firstborn a sibling. You’re adding another family member to love and be loved. Yes, it’s hard at first, but things return to relative normalcy over time. Hang in there, as they say. The days fly by, and before you know it, you might be thinking about adding yet another bundle of joy to the nest. Just so you know, apparently having three kids is the most stressful for parents. Add any more offspring after that, and you’ve long since gone crazy. But it’s okay—every family tree has a few nuts!

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So should you get your baby’s ears pierced at a young age? Are there any safety or health hazards that make early ear piercing dangerous? And, overall is it a good idea?

Certainly, there are some associated risks with piercing a baby’s ears. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, early piercing can lead to allergies to metal, which can lead to infections of the ear. If you do choose to have your infants ears pierced, you should ensure that the posts and parts of the earring touching the ear are made of stainless steel or at least 14K gold. Metal allergies will present themselves in the form of a rash around the ear and can even travel down the face and the neck. In this situation, pediatricians normally recommend removing the earrings and using Benadryl to control the allergic reactions. Since young babies have a weak immune system, these infections, and allergic reactions can turn serious in no time at all. One down side to piercing a baby’s ears is that they have very little muscle control, which means they will fiddle with and pull at the earrings – even ripping them out of the ear by accident, and this too can cause infection and secondary problems. If you wait till your child is older – you can instruct them to not touch the earrings. And, if an infant or baby accidentally removes the earrings – they can become a choking hazard.

Babies can also become fussy when sleeping as the piercings heal because of the discomfort involved after ear piercing, leading to colicky conditions. Ear piercing also comes with quite a bit of after care involved, which means parents have to be diligent about rotating the earrings and cleaning the ears – both front and back of the lobes – for several weeks after the piercing.

One thing that doctors DO recommend when considering ear piercing is to either use a facility that specializes in baby piercing, or ask if your doctor can do it. Some pediatricians can actually do the piercing in the office. Many ear-piercing centers located in malls or jewelry stores do not employ trained staff and may not be keeping the equipment clean enough from one customer to the next. You certainly want the most sterile environment if you plan to pierce your baby’s ears. Another good idea is to simply talk to your pediatrician about whether or not you can pierce your child’s ears. Some doctors may recommend that you wait until the baby is at least 4 months old – especially if there are any health concerns with the baby. While others will go ahead and give you the green light, and can even recommend safe places to have the procedure done.

Overall, the stance of the American Academy of Pediatrics is that there is no certain milestone age in which to pierce a baby’s ears. That being said, they do recommend waiting until a child can ASK for the piercing herself before doing so. This way, they can be involved in the care that is involved after wards, and can help to take care of the earrings themselves.

If you plan on piercing your baby’s ears, you may want to give them a dose of ibuprofen prior to the ear piercing, and in the few days after the piercing to ease the discomfort. The piercing itself is not more painful than a shot, and you need to choose a piercing provider that will do both ears at the same time in order to make it as comfortable as possible for your child.

Again, ear piercing is a personal choice. There are plenty of ways to ‘girlify’ your little princess without ear piercing. With so many cute headbands and bows, ear piercing is not really necessary. Many parents would rather wait until their child is old enough to ask, because essentially you are making a decision for your child that will last a lifetime. And, remember that if your baby has any problems with the ear piercing and you have to remove them – scar tissue can form in the lobes which can make ear piercing later in life more difficult and more prone to infection.

While mothers across North America debate this issue and liken it to giving a baby a tattoo (which is illegal), the decision you make is YOURS. If you are willing to put up with a little frustration and some extra work and feel strongly about having your baby’s ears pierced, then there really are no safety or health hazards to hold you back. Likewise, if you would prefer to wait until your child is older, and can request the piercing on their own, that too is perfectly fine. Just keep in mind that you are making a long term choice for your daughter, and that they will grow up fast enough without you rushing to do things before their due time.

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According to the American Civil Liberties Union, “Parents, not the government, have the ultimate right to name a child.” Interestingly, Messiah is one of the top ten baby names today. Even more interesting is the number of people named Jesus, Muhammad, or even Lucifer—each with religious significance—without any governmental interference. In fact, there are very few recent judicial cases where names have been denied, and while some countries around the world have laws to prevent certain names, they are rare.

According to the Calgary-Herald, the following names are some of the only ones that have been denied to parents in modern times: Messiah, Blaer, Lucifer, Baron, Bishop, Duke, General, Judge, Justice, King, Knight, 89, C, D, I, T, Doctor, Reverend, Benson and Hedges (twins), Tulula Does the Hula from Hawaii, Venerdi, rfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116, Metallica, Ikea, Q, Veranda, Fish and Chips (twins). Some were banned for obvious reasons, and most name complaints arise from custody or familial issues.

The Role of Government in Naming a Child

That being said, it really is not the duty of the government to interfere and monitor the name choices of parents today. In some countries, such as Germany, a name must be gender-specific, and it is a law that the child’s gender must be recognizable based on the chosen name. In Sweden, a law was enacted in 1982 that prohibits parents from naming their child any name that could be taken offensively, such as those referring to Hitler or, like in the case of Messiah. In Denmark, there is an approved list of 7,000 names from which parents can choose when naming their child. Recently, China enacted a program requiring new babies to be named based on the ability of computer scanners to read those names on national identification cards. The government encourages the use of Simplified characters over Traditional Chinese ones for easier readability. This is just the beginning of government involvement in names, but is it okay?

When celebrities name their children, they often choose names that others might see as outlandish or odd—yet the government doesn’t seem to interfere. Hollywood is known for pushing the envelope on what is considered normal when it comes to baby names. These children will have to live with their names for the rest of their lives. Are these names considered acceptable simply because the children will be raised in the spotlight, rather than in mainstream society?

It seems to most that parents should give ample consideration when naming their child. Often, parents choose family names, while some name their children after inanimate objects or ideals. Others choose names based on their personal preferences, a favorite friend, or a distant relative. New-age thinking asks that parents think twice before naming a child after a deceased loved one, believing it could have spiritual effects on the child. Still, parents should be the ones most concerned with choosing a name that promotes their child’s success.

There are several books available today that help parents choose names for success—offering advice such as “Allisons have a higher chance of getting into law school, whereas John Smiths are so common that they have a greater chance of being overlooked.” Essentially, the idea is that the name you choose for your child is akin to branding them for a life of success or failure. Experts argue that names give others a quick glimpse into the socioeconomic and educational background of a family, which can be just as impactful as a first impression.

The truth is, finding a name for your child is a difficult task. However, it is one that the government should not be involved in. Obviously, if parents lack the common sense or decency to name their child appropriately, it’s a reflection of larger issues within the family. If you name a boy Sue, while your intent may be to make him tough, the larger picture reveals that the parents lack good judgment. In such cases, courts should be able to step in and advocate for the child.

As for the case of Messiah, the baby boy whose name was changed to Martin by a judge—his parents were not alone in choosing Messiah as a baby name. In 2012, there were 700 babies named Messiah in the United States. Is the judge going to try and rename all of those children?

What do you think? Should the government have a say in a child’s name?

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The discomfort that teething causes can start well in advance of any teeth actually appearing. Some babies are affected as early as four months of age. At this age, even if Baby isn’t officially teething, his mouth is getting ready for the teeth that will emerge. In preparation for the eruption of teeth, a baby produces more saliva. The saliva can collect in the back of the throat, causing congestion that is very difficult to relieve. Along with the congestion and copious salivating, babies who are about to cut teeth may experience considerable pain, not unlike a toothache or headache in an adult.

If you aren’t sure whether teething is the culprit, here is a list of common teething symptoms:

• fussiness
• drooling – clothes and sheets will likely be wet
• runny nose
• rash on the chin or near the mouth, usually from the excessive saliva
• biting and chewing on toys, clothes, or anything that gets near the mouth
• red cheeks
• rejecting breast or bottle
• more need to suck
• swollen gums that may appear a purplish color
• soft stools
• diaper rash

Some parents also report fever and other flu-like symptoms as signs of teething. Medical and dental professionals will tell you that teething does not cause fever, so any feverish symptoms should be reported to your health care provider, especially if they are accompanied by vomiting or diarrhea.

There are a few things you can do to alleviate teething problems.

• Let Baby chew on a cold washcloth or teething ring. For added comfort, you can chill the teething ring. Be sure not to freeze it though – plastic can crack when frozen.
• Babies who use pacifiers might find relief in a chilled pacifier.
• Wash your hands thoroughly then, with a wet finger, rub her gums.
• Clean the gums with a baby or toddler toothbrush.
• For drooling, you can try regularly drying the chin and mouth with a receiving blanket or cloth. Clothes will also get wet from drooling so you may need to change Baby more frequently to relieve the discomfort from cold, wet cloth near his chin and neck. Drool bibs may offer some help, but it has been my experience that they do not prevent the saliva from soaking through and they quickly end up covered in drool themselves.
• There are many gentle salves and balms designed for the tender skin of a baby’s face. Try these on the chin and mouth area to help with the rash caused by drooling. You can also use petroleum jelly.
• Older babies and toddlers may enjoy a glass of cold water or frozen juice or yogurt. Remember that too much sugar is not good for the teeth, so it may be best to make these “popsicles” yourself out of real juice or yogurt.
• Acetaminophen is usually recommended for the pain. Dentists discourage the use of oral gels that you place on gums because of the danger that a baby may swallow some. Also, these gels can numb a baby’s lips, making a bad situation worse. Health food stores sell homeopathic teething tablets. Some parents swear by them but others don’t like them because some brands contain sugar. As with any medication, it is best to consult with your health care provider before use.
• Dentists do not recommend the use of teething biscuits because of the sugar they contain. If you do decide to use them on occasion, do not give them to older babies. Babies with enough teeth can break off pieces of these biscuits (or any other hard food you might think to offer), creating a choking hazard.
• Breastfeeding mothers should nurse often for comfort and to provide nutrients for babies who may have trouble eating.

Teething often causes interruptions to sleep that may last beyond the cessation of pain. Babies, wary of pain and with their sleep disrupted, may develop some separation anxiety. As a parent, you may find that a little extra attention and TLC can help your baby through this tough time.

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What Professors House is wondering with this article, is when is the best month to have a baby to ensure life success? (And does birth month even make a difference?) According to Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers, there are specific times, or months during the year – that help to motivate life success among people. His book, goes into great detail about the specific birth dates and months of highly successful people in this world. In one chapter of the book, he questions why two thirds of Canada’s pro hockey players were born in January and February. Is that just coincidence, or some sort of magical month for athletic ability?

According to Gladwell, one of the reasons that January, February and even early March are great months to have children that will excel in sports is because that many youth athletic agencies have birthday cutoffs of January 1st. So the January, February child birthdays will be able to play down in age groups and still remain the largest, strongest kids on the teams. Essentially, they have a 10-month head start on the kids in their ‘age group.’

This same psychology is also presented when it comes to schooling. There have been many studies over the years that show the older children in each grade level are often the brightest students. They have an advanced level of maturity that enables them to learn more quickly with increased brain capacity. Additionally, older children in the grade often have the most self-confidence because they are seen as a role model for younger kids in the grade. For instance, a child in 4th grade who turns 10 in December, will be in class with many children who just turned 9 at or near the very common September 1st, birthday cutoff. And Gladwell even recommends that parents consider the payoff of holding children born at or near the age cutoff back from starting school for one more year to help them be successful students in the top of their grade.

The research behind the book Outliers is nothing new. In fact, it has been supported for over a decade and has a lot of youth sports organizations rethinking how children are classified. Even so, many successful athletes, such as Tiger Woods for instance – who is considered an outlier (a term that means an anomaly, or exception to the rule) have always been the oldest among their peer group.

In 2001, Fortune Magazine reported 256 Zodiac signs of the world’s most successful business entrepreneurs and found that those most of them were born under the Pisces and Aquarius sign, which indicates that late February, early March are the best times to have a baby.

More research from the UK showed that the jobs that people have later in life is also influenced by birth month. For instance, more dentists are born in December than in any other month of the year. While the majority of air line pilots are born in March. This same research also showed that many people born in February are artists and police officers. Check out some of the other monthly findings courtesy of https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2033796/give-birth-march-pilot-august-bricklayer-december-dentist-.html below.

When it comes to birth month, many people also look to horoscopes or numerology in order to figure out what is the best month to have a baby. Many others use a combination of factors to decide when to conceive such as weather, work obligations, holidays, or even ancient fertility charts and Chinese beliefs about wealth and prosperity. And despite all this research about having babies early in the year, statistics from 2010 show that more babies were born in August, September, June and July (with September being the most popular) than any other time during the year.

Suffice it to say, that often the ability to plan a birth month is the last thing that new parents or parents to be are worried about. And even though Gladwell has research to support his claims that better athletes are born in the beginning of the year, he does not discount that there are many, many factors that influence life success.

The research and statistic is interesting at best. If you believe that having a February child will enhance their successes at becoming a professional hockey player or competitive gymnast – chances are you are so focused on their future and success that you will do many things to ensure they succeed in life. After all, parents that are interested in success and value accomplishment pass these traits onto their children. Whether it is the birth month or the parental influence that makes a child successful, is still a bit of a mystery. But maybe, just maybe – it is a combination of both.

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Despite all my studying of the opinions of experts, I have come to realize that there are plenty of things about babies that we mere humans just don’t understand. You can try to soothe them with every trick in every book ever written (although I personally have never tried the brandy trick—giving alcohol to babies just seems wrong), and you can still end up with a fussy, wriggling mess squirming in your arms and wailing at the top of their lungs. Sometimes, I think babies read those books too, while they were waiting to make their grand entrance, so they got off on the right foot when it came to frustrating their parents. A sleepless baby can make you lose your mind if you’re not careful.

The Challenge of Parenting Without a Manual

It seems that when my baby won’t sleep, there isn’t really a pattern or noticeable change in his world. Sometimes, when he reaches a milestone, it seems like he becomes restless for a few days. But then there are other days when he’s restless and it almost seems like he’s forgotten the milestones he has already reached. Then there’s the golden oddball rule: If I get him to sleep early, he sleeps later the next morning. Those late nights trigger his early morning alarm clock, and there he is—wide awake and ready to roll at 5:30 in the morning. Logic would tell me that his behavior should truly be reversed.

There are nights when he sleeps in increments of about an hour and a half. Some books say you’re supposed to go in and comfort him without picking him up, while others say you’re supposed to ignore him completely. It seems neither of those books knows what they’re talking about, because one night one tactic might work, and then the next night I have to switch it up again.

All I know is that if we’re all going to survive the sleepless baby syndrome, we’re going to have to get creative. In fact, I think I am throwing away all the books and going instead with my instincts. I know this much: Babies cry and behave in irritating ways for a reason. Their actions are not random. Even when we don’t understand their reasons, we can’t very well point a crooked finger at them and accuse them of attempting to drive us out of our minds. We have to wait at least two more years for that—maybe even three. When a baby cries, fusses, or refuses to fall into that peaceful slumber that makes us forget how irritating their behavior really was, they are trying to either communicate something or accomplish something.

Thus enters the most difficult aspect of parenting (outside not following them around with one hand ready to catch their fall well into their fifties) and our greatest challenge as human beings: to guide them gently toward behavior that is better for them without convincing them they are wrong. In many cases, at this age, this has to be accomplished without words.

I’m into rocking. I think that when my baby won’t sleep, he needs to be rocked. Let the Freudians and the parental saints of the world disagree with me, but rocking solves what I can consider to be one of the major sleep disruptions without drugs, manic parenting, or otherwise unruly behavior. If he is trying to accomplish something, such as learning to sit up, crawl, or blow raspberries through his lips, then my rocking should be able to slowly distract him. After all, we want our babies to accomplish things. It’s important for their growth. Just because they aren’t doing it on a schedule that is more convenient for us doesn’t make it wrong. He just needs help shutting his little brain down so sleep can enter. Come to think of it, when I’m trying to accomplish something, I could stand a little rocking myself—a little coaxing into shutting my brain off and understanding the faith that the task will still be there the next day.

The other problem that rocking solves is when he is sleepless (and so am I). It’s his desire to communicate something. Babies dream much earlier than most scientists originally thought. Their thought patterns are more sophisticated than most grown-ups are willing to admit. There could very well be a new noise, a new shadow, a new smell, or a new illogical fear that he is trying to assess. Despite the fact that he is not wailing and flinging himself about with treacherous, fear-ridden sweat dripping from his forehead, that doesn’t mean his lack of sleep might not be fear-based.

He could just as easily be trying to communicate his need for more parental time. Who knows? Again, there will be critics who will determine that caving into such a “trivial” need will teach bad habits. I would like my child to learn that when he really needs me, I’ll be there. Sure, I might be buying myself a few extra sleepless nights, but is that such a terrible payoff for his comfort in knowing that he can close his eyes, and if the world should go up in smoke during those countless hours of beautiful unconsciousness, his parent will show up—sleepy and bleary-eyed, but there nonetheless?

While rocking doesn’t work every single time, it is definitely one of my favorite aspects of problem-solving when I can’t figure out the issue. Of course, there are other efforts that can work just as well for different babies. Some prefer a gentle but steady patting on the back, while others would go for lying peacefully next to their beloved parent until sleep becomes apparent. Either way, what really matters, in my humble opinion, is acknowledging that the overall importance of his experience is genuine and true—even when we don’t fully understand it.

While there are many experts who could bust holes the size of Montana through my theories, I believe strongly that when in doubt, you can’t go wrong in loving a child. There are a million ways to go wrong when my baby can’t sleep— including that whole alcoholic beverage trick. I prefer to try to solve the entire problem, not just the immediate behavior that is momentarily keeping me awake.

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When it comes to deciding how many children to have and when to have them, too much time to think it over and plan can make the idea of having more children seem somehow irresponsible. You have to consider the state of the economy, the cost of college, the size of your home, the availability of car seat space in your vehicle, and the cost of daycare—not to mention how adding another child will further divide your time. For many couples, the decision to have another child often causes guilt, as they feel they may be taking something away from the child they already have. However, in the end, adding a sibling to your family is definitely worth the emotional and financial cost.

Statistics from the latest U.S. Census Bureau indicate that population growth in the United States is beginning to level off. The average family now has between 1.8 and 2.3 children per household—essentially, two. In Canada, this number is similar, although there are more one-child households than in the U.S. Globally, the numbers vary: in South America, many families have 3 or more children, while former Soviet Union countries have an average of one child per household. Still, even though there are many reasons not to bring more children into the world, human nature compels us to procreate. As parents, it’s difficult to imagine your child growing up without siblings or extended family later in life. Perhaps this feeling, above all, is the driving force behind the decision to add at least a second child to your family.

So, When Is the Best Time to Have a Second Child?

Everyone has a different opinion on when is the best time to have a second child. However, most people seem to agree that having your children close together is ideal. In a perfect world, “close together” would mean at least 3 years apart. This allows you to spend all your time and attention on your firstborn, indulging in every milestone moment with little else to worry about besides the baby at hand. Plus, it’s easier to handle just one baby at a time, which reduces stress on both you and your marriage, and enables you to fully enjoy becoming a parent. Then, when your firstborn is ready for school, no longer needs to be carried everywhere, and can do many things independently, you’ll be able to focus just as much on the second baby as you did with the first. There are other benefits to having children around 3-4 years apart as well:

• You can reuse most of the baby equipment. (If you plan on having two children, avoid buying baby items that are strictly gender-themed to save money.)
• You’re still accustomed to the demands of having a baby. Waiting until your firstborn is 10 or older can make it more difficult to readjust to life with an infant.
• Your children will be closer in age, which can help them bond more easily.
• Your children can more easily share rooms if space is limited. Asking a 12-year-old and a baby to share a room is often impractical.
• Waiting until your firstborn starts school to have another child gives you one-on-one time with your new baby, without feeling guilty.
• If you plan to stay home with your children, having them closer together lets you return to work sooner, which can help with earning more money and saving for college.
• You won’t need to take two trips to Disney World
• You’ll be younger when both children graduate from high school, which has many benefits.
• Your children will always have someone close to them. Siblings born close together often form lifelong best-friend relationships. (This is especially true when they are adults.)

Of course, many people intentionally have their children extremely close together. This can also have its advantages. Not only do you get all the baby stages out of the way at once, but your children will likely share many of the same interests and milestones in life. Initially, having two babies at once can be challenging, but as they grow, it can make life easier. On the flip side, having two children so close together means you miss out on the chance to fully enjoy the precious moments of your first child’s babyhood. It can be stressful to manage two very young children at once—just ask any mother of twins.

Waiting a decade or so between children is very much like starting over. While you may find yourself more patient, settled, and appreciative of the first years, it can be a difficult adjustment. Dragging out the crib from the attic and losing the independence that comes with raising older children can feel like a huge trade-off. You may not regret the decision, but you’ll realize just how far you’ve come, only to take 10 steps backward.

The right time to have a second child is different for everyone. Sometimes it happens exactly when you plan, while other times, the second child arrives at the most inopportune moment. Either way, you adjust—and eventually, you realize that you couldn’t imagine your life any other way.

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One of those things is a baby monitor.

Until you have children, you have no real idea how hard it is to get sleep at night, even if the baby is already sleeping. Why? Because every few minutes you will feel that ‘paralyzed with fear’ feeling that will have you up and running to the nursery, or touching your baby’s chest to make sure that they are still breathing okay. And, as they get older and you get more comfortable, you will find yourself waking up at odd times during the night thinking that just maybe you heard something coming from the nursery. Was it a burglar, a cough, sneeze, sniffle, or fart? Since you don’t know for sure – you will be up and checking the baby again, and again, and again. A baby monitor really can help. Plus, during the day – having a decent baby monitor ensures that you can get some laundry done, watch your favorite soap opera or even take a shower and know full well that if your baby wakes up, you will be able to hear them.

Baby monitors used to be a pretty simple choice for parents. In the golden days, a baby monitor was simply a glorified walkie-talkie. You put the base in the nursery and carried the handset with you wherever you went and would be privy to hearing every sound your baby made. As the years have become technologically advanced, so have baby monitors. So much so, that shopping for them can be almost as difficult as shopping for a new car.

In order to help you however, realize that you don’t need an HD 18 inch television screen baby monitor with stereo surround sound in order to hear your baby at night. And yes, they do have some very deluxe models available out there, that will have you shelling out a car payment or two just to own. So, now the question is, what do you need?

Must Have Qualities of a Baby Monitor:

1. First, look for one that allows you to switch channels. Most newer ones do. This way, you can ensure that you don’t scramble your monitor with your neighbors or with all the other media components; you have in your house. It should say right on the packaging that it has a two way UHF switch.
2. Another important thing to look at is the range of the monitor you are buying. Range makes a huge difference in price. However, if you have a large home, with two stories and may want to take the baby monitor to your mailbox with you, you want a long-range monitor. If you live in an apartment, chances are you can go with a less souped up model.
3. Rechargeable batteries are definitely important! Otherwise, you will be constantly replacing batteries, which can be annoying and expensive as time goes on. Look for a model that has two handsets, so that when you are recharging one you will have another handy to use.
4. If you have multiple children, or plan to – you might want to buy a home monitoring system that allows you to hook up to several rooms at once. This will keep you from carrying around an armory of monitors to keep up with all your children. Plus, baby monitors are great to have around even as your children get older and more independent, so you can keep tabs on what’s happening in their rooms.
5. If you want a baby monitor with a TV screen, you are definitely jumping up in price range. Still, you don’t need a massive monitor, and you don’t necessarily have to get one that displays color either. It is nice to be able to see your child while they are sleeping, and to be able to ‘see’ what the noise you heard was. This lets you know ahead of time whether you need to make a trip inside the nursery (and risk waking the baby) or not. And, a monitor gives you easy access to making sure that your baby hasn’t pulled the covers up over their head while they are sleeping. Just stay within your budget and don’t be fooled into buying excessive fancy features.
6. One very nice feature that is often under estimated is a two way monitoring. These come in handy especially as your baby gets older. A two-way baby monitor will allow you to talk to your child, which can be really nice when you are teaching them to go to sleep on their own. And if you have a child that wakes up during the night, having a way two sound capability can enable you to quickly reassure them without them having to crawl into your bed.

Additionally, if you have a premature infant or one born with some medical problems, you may want to invest in the type of infant monitor that not only reports sounds and pictures – but also can monitor breathing, body temperature and baby movement as well. This will help you to gain the peace of mind you want, so you can enjoy the rest you need to take care of a baby. These units are expensive, but well worth it if your infant has medical problems.

There are hundreds of models to choose from! Be aware that you can probably get a pretty good unit from a yard sale, on EBay, or even from friends or relatives. Many people get several for their baby showers and never return them, so be sure to check with friends.

A baby monitor is definitely something that will come in handy, save you trouble and prove useful through parenthood. Plus, the Infant Safety Commission, along with several other baby safety organizations recommend that parents use infant monitors in order to promote sleep safety. Remember of course, that a monitor never replaces parental supervision, and should not be used as a sole venue to protect your baby.

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